That is MUCH more concise and well put together than the reddit posts I figured it out from and a GitHub issue, thank you!

https://www.reddit.com/r/lightningnetwork/comments/l4sye2/how_do_you_bump_fee_using_lnd_bounty_included_for/

And

https://github.com/lightningnetwork/lnd/issues/4991


hades

 do not bump the fee. Fee bumping means replacing the old transaction with a new one with a higher fee. Since channel open renegotiation is not built in to the protocol, you will have to use the CPFP "trick", where you spend the bitcoin (change) from your unconfirmed (channel open) transaction.

bitcoin

Channel Open Stuck in the Mempool? Here is how to fix it using lncli commands

See also:

> For a channel open, you _actually_ do not bump the fee. Fee bumping means replacing the old transaction with a new one with a higher fee. Since channel open renegotiation is not built in to the protocol, you will have to use the CPFP "trick", where you spend the bitcoin (change) from your unconfirmed (channel open) transaction.

https://lightningwiki.net/index.php/Bumping_fee_for_lightning_channel_open#Cannot_bump_fee,_use_CPFP