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50 sats \ 5 replies \ @SimpleStacker 22 Jun \ on: being an enabler mostly_harmless
Without trying to probe too personally, what are the cookies you're referring? Time? Attention? Money? Emotional energy?
the cookie isn't specific. i tend to give away things, anything, i think i don't need, expecting people to self-regulate and sometimes they don't. my realization here is that i don't mind (enough) (probably) that some people don't self-regulate because it soothes my insecurity.
i'm sorry it's so abstract but the problem is abstract (and being specific is unfair to anyone i've enabled).
i think the solution is to think more about the harm of giving things away. it's kind of like all the distortions that economic stimulus/government aid create.
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i think the solution is to think more about the harm of giving things away.
I used to be an enabler myself, and what I nowadays do to prevent it is the following check:
- Does my action reward or is it just generosity?
- If reward, is it deserved?
- If yes, do it.
- If no, don't do it - save it for a better cause.
- If generosity, does it make an impact?
- if no, don't do it - save it for a better cause.
- If yes, did I do this to the same person recently?
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If yes, don't do it - it will make people complacent
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If no, do it.
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- If reward, is it deserved?
I second the idea of thinking more about the harm of giving things away. People treat things with much more respect if they have to pay for it.
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