I'd recommend exploring different options and follow what you feel called to go deeper into.

First off LLMs can be surprisingly helpful. I use an app developed by therapists called Rosebud every now and then as a therapist on speed dial. Or Claude/ChatGPT etc with some good prompts could work but gotta be more careful with those.

Coaching can be as good or even better than therapy. They just can't call themselves therapy for liability but good coaches are essentially therapists and more. Definitely shop around - there are lots of bad therapists whose incentives to keep you coming back.

It sounds like you're aware of a lot of anger. I recommend this organization called Art of Accomplishment which does a lot of work that goes deep into moving anger and emotions in general (ultimately being able to feel and love them more easily). They have some good podcasts specifically on anger and releasing it without directing it towards anyone.

You can also look into specific modalities like Internal Family Systems or attachment repair or self compassion - just some of the top ones that come to mind that have helped me and were worth my sats. There's usually a book or guided audio freely available to give them a try. And then you could seek out facilitators who may not even be therapists but again might be even better and cheaper.

IFS or parts work is relatively newer but for a lot of people like myself it goes really deep untangling emotional spaghetti code.

And like others have said just take care of basic stuff like health, breathe, remember we're all human, you're not alone...