When everyone's wearing earbuds, nobody's listening or talking \ stacker news ~alter

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When everyone's wearing earbuds, nobody's listening or talking

372 sats \ 14 comments \ @Signal312 22 Jul alter_native

I talked to a friend of mine the other day. She had just taken some young relatives on an expensive trip that required lots of planning, as a gift to them. There was a fair bit of driving time as well.

And here's the thing - these young relatives wore earbuds almost all the whole time.

Sometimes, as a concession, or maybe a sign of "I'm somewhat available to talk", they would have one earbud out. But there was not much of what you'd consider real conversation. And most of the time, both earbuds in. So, basically, "don't talk to me".

She didn't say anything to her young relatives about the situation, though I got an earful.

Also, I went to a co-working space recently, thinking about joining. It's not a bad place, nicely decorated, sure. But...everybody is wearing earbuds. Not just younger people, too. There doesn't appear to be any casual conversation. At least not that I can tell so far.

What's happening, my bitcoin friends? This earbud virus appears to have infected many people.

How to encourage people to have conversations again?

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45 sats \ 1 reply \ @gmd 22 Jul

I'm guilty of this. I almost always have a podcast/youtube playing in the background. I can't help myself even though know it's selfish and ultimately really bad for society...

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @Signal312 OP 17h

It's a struggle for sure. I do all kinds of experiments (search on stacker news for "digital detox").

I turned off podcasts for a period of about 4 months, and felt like it was a very productive time, I got some good projects done. Now I'm back on them (#1036132).

There are so many things that are addictive, and cause societal and personal problems. Perhaps now, more than at any other time in history?

156 sats \ 2 replies \ @cascdr 22 Jul

The first rule of hypnotism: You go first.

It takes charisma and leadership. I've tried putting myself out there more and it works if you just come in with a smile. A full cup. Completely content whether or not you get a good reaction just sharing the love.

If you do this properly you will wake some people up out of the spell they're under. And some awake is better than 0 awake.

21 sats \ 1 reply \ @elvismercury 16h

I love the msg. But what's the hypnotism angle?

27 sats \ 0 replies \ @cascdr 11h

It's a truism and the angle is the idea of the Law of State Transference.

In other words, what you feel the other person tends to feel, especially if you confidently assert it.

If you are feeling stifled, they will feel that. If you are open fun and friendly, you can make them feel it too.

34 sats \ 1 reply \ @fauxfoe 16h

When I'm at a co-working space, I wear earbuds, the kind with wires. The other end isn't even plugged into anything. It's just my way of saying "don't talk to me".

I live in a hyperconnected world. I am connected to so many people, digitally, constantly, unceasingly. Every week, I fend off attempts to befriend me. Please, no new friends! I don't have enough time for the friends I have. For the family I miss.

So, no, I don't want to talk. I want to be left alone for a couple minutes so I can think. Or not think.

And if that makes you sad, go call your friends and family who probably miss you.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Signal312 OP 16h

Sounds like you have some very good reasons to wear earbuds...

75 sats \ 2 replies \ @unschooled 22 Jul

it reminds me of myself, except that i was the kid with my nose in a book. on long car rides id seek my escape. my father didnt care that i seemed to be concentrating (or otherwise didnt notice) and would chat my ear off anyway. i would get annoyed, but then the book would always be there when i found my moment's solitude. id say be like my dad and just talk to them. these things are usually escapes from reality and anyone worth your time of day to talk to will see the value in being your irl interlocutor. or, you can go the tinfoil-hatter route and tell them the radiation is frying their brain.

113 sats \ 1 reply \ @Signal312 OP 22 Jul

Yeah, I was a huge, huge bookworm myself.

This feels different, though. Especially since...oftentimes, they literally can't hear you. To start a conversation, you have to wave your hand in front of their face, and they have to take out their earbuds.

I've actually done something like that. I just kind of stood in front of someone (at the coworking space) who was eating lunch, alone, looking at his phone with earbuds in. And, after taking out his earbuds, he seemed honestly grateful that someone wanted to talk to him.

34 sats \ 0 replies \ @unschooled 22 Jul

after taking out his earbuds, he seemed honestly grateful that someone wanted to talk to him.

interesting! i would hope that that's a typical response.

scorsby has a good point though--you dont want to interrupt a conversation someone is having.

66 sats \ 1 reply \ @Scoresby 22 Jul

I haven't worn headphones in a long while. I do notice their prevalence when I'm out and about. It's a weird trend.

I suppose I can understand -- I spend a lot of time on my phone, just typing and reading, not listening.

I wonder if most are listening to music or to people talking?

102 sats \ 0 replies \ @unschooled 22 Jul

I spend a lot of time on my phone, just typing and reading, not listening.

hey that's how i spend most of my time too! i started to realize I ought to be less critical over others who want to do their thing on social media (i used to criticize people for this a lot), because im over here doing well...this.

everyone must be just as good as i am at convincing themselves that their chosen activity is the best one, headphones or none.

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @bitcoingecko 22 Jul

Technology is changing society in so many ways, so quickly that it's hard to tell. And what will the effects be. I'm afraid it's not negative than positive.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @beejay 15h

I saw this phenomenon of people withdrawing inwardly years ago, before the wireless earphones were even a thing (at the height of the iPod)

I do not see this anywhere but cities, which are congested with noises from traffic, trains, airplanes, etc., as well as human noise, people bustling through corridors and talking on buses/trains etc. and I noticed that I wear my wired earbuds and play music into them from my phone out of habit, whenever I board a bus, just because there's always people talking more loudly to their seat mates than they need to.

If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't wear them. For context, I'm a single woman over 50 who works from home (self employed in tech, as well as sort of an urban homesteader) and rarely need to go anywhere farther than someplace I can walk to, as I live in a very walkable area.