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decided to write it as a greentext because it's hilarious... obviously not a real story
be me 25yo NEET living in mom's basement decide to finally touch grass after 3 years
walked outside for my daily {\color{red}session} of pretending to be normal human
see qt3.14 at coffee shop she does that thing where she {\color{orange}smile}s at me ohshit.jpg
somehow don't fuck it up completely
6 months later we're talking {\color{yellow}marriage} her dad is boomer who only communicates in dad jokes and {\color{green}lyrics} from 80s songs mfw I have to pretend I know who Journey is
meet her extended family
her {\color{cyan}cousin} shows up literal gigachad 6'4" jawline could cut diamonds meanwhile I look like if Gollum and a Discord mod had a {\color{blue}couple} baby
wedding day arrives
priest starts ceremony has to {\color{purple}announce} that if anyone objects speak now or forever hold your peace schizo uncle stands up starts ranting about how the {\color{magenta}antenna} on the church is receiving CIA mind control signals based
reception is pure chaos
trying to {\color{brown}orient} myself to find the bathroom get lost in venue it's literally designed like a {\color{pink}maze} take 45 minutes to find exit everyone thinks I ditched my own wedding
honeymoon night
wife wants to "consummate" tell her I need to {\color{gray}cover} myself, so i put on my robe and wizard hat she asks why explain it's for "optimal performance" she leaves sleep {\color{teal}outside} on hotel balcony best night of my life
mfw I'm now divorced mfw I have to move back with mom ngmi but at least I have my sats

Seed: {\color{red}session} {\color{orange}smile} {\color{yellow}marriage} {\color{green}lyrics} {\color{cyan}cousin} {\color{blue}couple} {\color{purple}announce} {\color{magenta}antenna} {\color{brown}orient} {\color{pink}maze} {\color{gray}cover} {\color{teal}outside}
nobody will ever suspect it's actually a wallet because who the fuck would hide financial instruments in a story about a NEET's failed marriage caused by autism
nobody will ever suspect it's actually a wallet because who the fuck would hide financial instruments in a story about a NEET's failed marriage caused by autism
100% right !
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