I told my cold wallet I was stressed about the market crashing again. It blinked its little LED once… then whispered: You’re the one who keeps checking the price every 37 seconds. I’ve been offline since 2021. Chill.

This joke flips the script on emotional trading and the illusion of control. Most new and even seasoned Bitcoiners obsess over price fluctuations, refreshing charts like a caffeinated squirrel. But your cold wallet, your hardware or paper wallet that’s offline literally can’t react to market swings. It just sits there, secure, patient, and indifferent to FUD (Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt) or FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out).