avoidance
the way to want me is not to want me
expectations scare me
and the more you anticipate
the less you’ll get
for i am not safe
in securing my wants
and any external desire
will shut me down
managing expectations
is a novel concept to me
how can i manage pain
that can easily be avoided
better we meet at random
or with an excuse
drunk i forget myself
for wanting you
cause i continuously
play and perform
i cannot act
on true heart's desire
i am utterly worthless
charitize me to strangers
at my lover’s disgust
who believes i’m special