Stacker News \ Austin or Remote \ @k00b 24 Jun
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hello@stacker.news

The Company

The front page of Bitcoin. It's like Hacker News but we pay you Bitcoin.

The Role

We are searching for someone to be a great example candidate. Someone generic and exemplary in their exampleness. The should be completely nondescript and blend in with the crowd yet be confident in their ordinariness. You'll be responsible for being plain, bland, very very normal, and you'll ensure that no candidate feels left out when we use you as an example.

When Applying

Provide a wax sealed scroll with all your unexceptional talents, and a heartfelt song on cassette about our fearless leader @k00b.

Responsibilities

  • standing tall, but not taller than @k00b
  • sitting very still
  • staring at a computer screen looking busy
  • dressing @k00b in war paint
  • shhhhhhhhhhhushing on command
  • performing all ritualistic pencil sharpening
  • staying up to date with the latest in stock footage aesthetics

Qualifications

  • A phd in regret or equivalent
  • You don't need to be told what to do but love being told what to do
  • A cousin named sam and a dog that likes ham
  • You think Bitcoin is neat
  • Experience working with silk worms
  • 10+ toes, 6+ fingers
  • Upholstery experience is a plus

Compensation

  • Highly competitive snacks (Kirkland Signature - Whole 365) based on experience
  • Free singing lessons
  • A limited edition Stacker News hat
  • Unlimited refills of ivermectin
  • Work from @k00b's garage
  • Discounted access to @k00b's dream journals
  • A map of Atlantis

Join Us!

Join your new family!

The best job advertisement I’ve ever read!

@k00b you are the man!

best job description ever written.

1600 sats \ 1 replies \ @muck 14 May

Hello and Good Morning,

It is in the spirit of human templating that I apply to this auspicious position. As a living, breathing, sniffing and often gesticulating example of humanity I hereby project myself into the light of Stacker News. Not too far into the light so as to become garish or appear egotistical, but just enough to suggest the forthrightness and certitude of an exemplary citizen. As per the requirements of said position, I am by all means a tall sitter. I refrain from standing at all costs, mostly to maintain modesty with regard to my height. I find other office constituents somewhat lacking in their hauteur and making them feel at ease is paramount in projecting exemplary behaviour. I see the remaining requirements as clearly obvious and don't plan to address them, for the simple reason that I am truly over-qualified in each and every category - especially the "shhhhhhhhhhhushing", which I notice you mis-spelt and should have one more "s"! Addressing qualifications, it is essential to realize that I have integrated the meritocratic regret, upholstery and digit requirements. (Note: I think the toe and finger stipulation is well and truly a requirement and not a qualification but in the spirit of acquiescence (another qualification: "You don't need to be told what to do but love being told what to do") i intend to group them accordingly). Last year, whilst languishing in a middle class suburban prison, as prescribed by the WEF, I undertook an apprenticeship in upholstery. As our little shoe box only contains one chair, and a meager dog-eaten sofa, my range of projects quickly came to abrupt end - until I gazed one wintry afternoon at my inadequate collection of fingers and toes. Needless to say, I typed this post within seconds and am simultaneously paying my Vietnamese pedicurist an exorbitant sum to have those little piggies look their best for this application! As an exemplar, I am altruistic and as you'd expect am adverse to trivial compensation, as tempting as your generously extensive list appears. However, I must reveal my life-long wish to work from within a garage, surrounded by copious boxes of readily available Ivermectin. I cannot think of a more forthrightly virtuous pursuit. I look forward to your response but in the meantime I have pencils to sharpen.

Too try hard :)

A have a phd in regret! I have a dog that loves ham..am i in?

If the phd was from an unaccredited online university, you can start Monday. Please bring your dog, we have a lot of ham

Yes im free on Monday..Could my dog invite his 4 friends to eat hams?

Your dog has too many friends. You’re fired.

So close and.....gone. And that is why it's best to know when to shush :)

10 sats \ 3 replies \ @jeff 1 Mar

I have 7 fingers and will have watched this video tonight.

Question. Will you reimburse me for the wax and cassette tape?

Edit: Oh gawd, I hope I get this job.

7 fingers is good. I’ll reimburse you in topo chicos. When can you start?

0 sats \ 1 replies \ @jeff 1 Mar

Depends. Cherry Akai or Strawberry Guava? If Akai, next Tuesday. But for only Guava, I will have to give more notice to my current employer.

Edit: Full disclosure, 1 of the seven is a thumb. Does that still count? I'm working on growing the other back. But it's going worse than expected.

I only have access to lime through my coworking space. That’s my final offer.

Thumbs count. They’re the most important finger according to our chief finger officer.

The real man!

Ha ha :)

новый вид траты времени! если появиться возможность такого рода. это новый и совершенно эксклюзивный метод обмена времени на деньги. думаю это будет справедливо. для каждого.

Qualified!

Can you pay me through BTC when I start?

No. When can you start?

As an Alicorn i am perfect for this Job

0 sats \ 1 replies \ @rafa 3 Mar

How do I post a job?

10 sats \ 0 replies \ @kr 3 Mar

When you visit the 'jobs' page, the 'post' menu item changes from being a button for posting normal posts to posting jobs. Lots of room for UX improvements.

https://stacker.news/~jobs/post

0 sats \ 1 replies \ @avg 2 Mar

I would like to apply for the graphic designer position:

1 _____ _____ 2 /\ \ /\ \ 3 /::\ \ /::\____\ 4 /::::\ \ /::::| | 5 /::::::\ \ /:::::| | 6 /:::/\:::\ \ /::::::| | 7/:::/__\:::\ \ /:::/|::| | 8\:::\ \:::\ \ /:::/ |::| |

:::\ :::\ \ /:::/ |::| | _____
/\ :::\ :::\ \ /:::/ |::| |/\ \ /::\ :::\ :::_
/:: / |::| /::_
:::\ :::\ ::/ /::/ /|::| /:::/ / :::\ :::\ /
__/ /
/ |::| /:::/ / :::\ :::\ \ |::|/:::/ /
:::\ :::_
\ |::::::/ /
:::\ /:::/ / |:::::/ /
:::/:::/ / |::::/ /
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::/ / ::/ /
// //

Clearly SN needs to be more ASCII art optimized.

When can I start?

Can you start in 1985? We needed this done yesterday. Pls thx ...

I love ascii art! Most of my cli commands on https://gitern.com would return a tarot themed piece of ascii art.

I would assume the party that posted this listing will want to know that I asked a question. How will that party know that I asked this question unless they are manually monitoring this site?

They get notified like any comment on other posts. I guess they could hit it and quit it. Maybe we should have email notifications or something

Yes, e-mail notifications.

An HR person or recruiter who posts a job listing isn't going to be sitting on SN all day like us degens.

can you pay me in HEX ?

Hexane gas? Yes