In markets, nothing happens unless the bid meets the ask.

In relationships, connection works the same way.

Small signals—“look at this,” a joke, a touch, “can you help?”—are bids for connection.

What matters is what happens next:
• Turn toward → connection builds
• Turn away → connection erodes
• Turn against → conflict escalates

Think of it like a market:
• Bid = attempt to connect
• Ask = emotional availability to receive
• Trade = connection actually happening

When things feel off, it’s often not lack of effort.
It’s a wide bid–ask spread.

One person is bidding for closeness, intimacy, alignment.
The other is asking for safety, space, regulation.

Nothing fills.

More bids don’t fix it.
That just creates a stack of unfilled orders → frustration.

What narrows the spread:
• consistent small bids
• lower volatility (less escalation)
• more emotional liquidity (feeling safe, seen, regulated)

You don’t force connection.

You create the conditions where it can clear.