This post was inspired by @k00b 's comment in one of my other post's about the issue of trust vs trustless rails, or in other words, how to get fiat into Bitcoin
I want to create a fun thought experiment of how you would buy BTC but you cannot use.....
- P2P online exchanges like Bisq, Robosats etc
- CEXs like CB Binance etc
- ATM machines
I love the idea of the romanticism of espionage contrasting against the face of eyeball scanning 1984 KYC nightmare
My plan:My plan:
A good old fashioned envelope drop, wrapping up some warm soft fiat paper in a waterproof package, I would say around a hundred bucks or equivalent in your currency
The location:The location:
Hiding it behind a loose brick or under a specific park bench, or insert the most 'All the president's men' esque theme
(Thinking ahead, as I'm making the 'drop', I can change the locations if we can build a relationship to avoid obvious flaws in the plan)
The handshakeThe handshake
Communicate over White Noise encrypted chat to discuss the pickup point etc and they pay me via lightning network
My idealism of absolute trustMy idealism of absolute trust
This plan involves me leaving everything on the line for the receiver to either send me the sats or steal the fiat and walk away, this strips away the cold automated function of modern finance, I love the idea of walking away from the envelope being utterly vulnerable, while exchanging a dinosaur currency to acquire the future of finance
ThoughtsThoughts
While impractical for large amounts, this thought experiment highlights the contrast that Bitcoin was designed as cash for the internet but getting it into the matrix takes a human element to get it started
Also it's worth mentioning although obvious that this doesn't scale because you need to find a fellow trader in your local area
How would you do it? if you wanted to buy BTC irl? meet ups perhaps? but that introduces the friction of actually meeting each other, indulge me in your 007 style methods! and critique me on my infallible plan lol
Postscript: I know some of you will understand the big Lebowski ref. if you don't search up the plot
How about...
Home Alone 2: Plaza Hotel for Bitcoin
Here you are a flummoxed Macaulay Culkin left behind again, but this time you found a Trezor in the house with pin and a not-insignificant number of sats within. You get your cousin to give you their credit card so you can live large at the famed Plaza Hotel. It's not on his dime though as you promise to settle up along the way.
Your cousin checks his credit card transactions and his Bitcoin wallet every day or two. As long as each charge is accompanied by sats, he doesn't report the card stolen.
The hotel staff is no less suspicious, but how about the credit card company?
Im on the phone to Hollywood right now 💯💯💯💯
That rug really tied the room together, did it not?
Fuckin A
If it has to be clandestine, I'd opt for something along the lines of a face-to-face meet up in a public space with free wifi.
Each participant brings identical looking bags or brief cases if you want to look really sus. The buyer's bag has the cash in it, the seller's bag is empty.
Set up at a table with 4 chairs, two to each side.
Set up laptops across from each other. Put down bags next to the laptop. The buyer opens the bag so the seller can see there is cash.
Buyer slides an envelope across with the receiving address. Seller initiates transaction.
As it appears in the mempool, close bags. Drink some coffee and wait. Once confirmed, the buyer picks up the empty bag and leaves. Seller leaves with cash a bit later.
And yes, it would be faster using lightning. But then again, where's the fun in that? Also, I like coffee. Not enough time to drink one if the tx is instantaneous.
Careful, man, there's a beverage here!
my ruuuug, bruh... can I just have it back, please?!
Also: