I am on my way to becoming a parent by the end of this year, and as the bearer of the child, I have already made quite a few changes in my lifestyle. I’m proud to say they were rather easy to make, and understandably so. When you have a stark physiological reason why, you don’t waste anytime convincing yourself to change.
However, a change that I’m reflecting on today is one that I haven’t made yet. It might be a harder one to shake and that is using foul language.
I love to curse. Now I’m not on the level of like don’t have me around your kids, it’s easy and even thoughtless to adjust when amongst youngsters (I have 10 nieces and nephews, so this is a practiced trait). But in the privacy of my home, or in response to an idiot in traffic, or for emphasis in everyday expression, a curse will come naturally to me and feel cathartic to release.
Do you have a rule for cursing, parents?Do you have a rule for cursing, parents?
Did your kids learn any from you (they inevitably will learn them), and if so, do you feel a type of way about it?
Did you eradicate them from your language completely, and was it easy?
I have intentionally attempted to instill the use of "son of a bitch" "what the hell" and a liberal application of "shit". I think that small children who swear intimidate adults and it is useful.
lmaooo
when my mom reads my posts that have one little “shit” in them, she lets me know that she disapproves. I got raised a different way lol and still am??
I swore a lot before my daughter was born. So did my wife. Neither of us wanted to use foul language around our baby, so we cut back a lot. Gradually our daughter began cursing herself as a teenager. Now the three us are three pretty foul mouthed adults.
😂 😂
I swear a lot, and sometimes I let them slip. My daughter is nine years old, and I explained to her a while ago what swear words are and that it's best not to say them in public. Sometimes when we're talking, she asks me, "Mom, can I say a swear word?" and I say, "Go ahead," and she proceeds to say it in a sentence. She doesn't do it every day, just occasionally, but I don't have this taboo with her. I suppose that's why she doesn't say them in public or every day; I've taken away the mystique and the thrill of the forbidden.
I like this
Our daughter definitely picked up the "dammits!" from us. Fortunately, she hasn't picked up my wife's go-to "for fuck's sake" that still comes out pretty often.
I'm less concerned about what she'll repeat from me directly than what she might overhear from my podcasts that are usually playing in the car.
Just be yourself and your kids will be too, just like you are. It’s actually proven that swearing is good for your mental health and takes the edge off the pain sometimes. I’m sure you don’t overdo it anyway, so you don’t need to change a thing. Congrats, by the way! Wish you all the best
Our little 2yr old ran in the kitchen towards my wife when she was trying to get something from lower cabinet. She was behind the cabinet door and she didn't see him. He slammed/pushed the door on her and she yelled "what the FUCK?" and so I ran, grabbed our son and said something like "Don't do that, there's mama behind. Tell me what did you do?" and he thought for a second and said "fuck?".
It will be ok.
We mostly eradicated it when our daughter was really young. We also had the obligatory swear jar for friends (and ourselves) once she was old enough to know about cursing and rules. By the time she was eleven, though, we were so fucking sick of not using our favorite words that when she finally shed the very prudishness we'd instilled (because, as a pre-teen, she had friends who had taught her to love cursing) we were fucking delighted.
We're also not a home that considers cursing "bad," per se.
That said, it generally wasn't hard to stop cursing, any more than it is when I'm at the office or in another social situation where it's not appropriate. It's just that at home, it's nice to not hold it in as much.
We also had her watch George Carlin's "seven dirty words" sketch when she was twelve, which I consider part of her formal education.
Who decides which words are "curse words" and which aren't?
I find it so strange that we police the manner in which another person moves their facial muscles to make a certain sound. Thousands of possible sounds we can make with our mouths, and for some reason a few of them are considered "foul".
We rarely swear around the house and if we do someone is probably pretty angry and the kids kind of intuitively know those are words that shouldn't be repeated. When my son was younger he used to use proxies for curse words like "frick" instead of "fuck". We mostly let him get away with it depending on tone. He outgrew it though. My daughter has rarely ever said a curse word.
You may let one slip once and awhile especially if you are mad but for the most part you just naturally begin to speak differently around kids.
Curse in cursive font so child can’t read your cc
I don't prohibit it or completely refrain from swearing myself, but I generally discourage it in the house. But I think I'm generally that way in my day to day life, too. My thought is that certain words should be used sparingly, like spice in food.
I also think swear words can often be crutches for imprecise writing and speaking. Per George Orwell: "if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought."
Everyone curses, to various and different degrees. I personally don't so much, and my 10 yo understands very well it's not a good habit to have. He doesn't either, probably also because none of his friends do...
Not trying to downplay it, but I will say that cursing is really not the most important thing to be worried about when it comes to raising a child, IMHO.
Your future child will need your presence and your attention, and the reassurance that you do everything to keep them safe, physically and emotionally.
Everything else is secondary.
I don't think I have ever heard you curse. 🤔 Also have to say its been cool to see you changing to a mother though. Reminds me of my sister when she had her first kid.
My 6 year old I let her say whatever she wants at home, but to always follow the rules of the adult in charge wherever she is.
First of all, I don't think swearing is funny or cool. In fact, I think it's much more badass to be able to express yourself without the use of swear words.
That being said, it doesn't necessarily bother me that much. The intent matters much more than the words.
But my wife hates it, so we definitely don't swear around the house, and I would tell my children not to use swear words.
For me, I try not to swear out of respect for my wife, but I tell her that when it comes to Fauci, all bets are off.