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On August 08 2026 Bitcoin died after suffering a hostile attack by a majority of miners and nodes.

The last valid block 961633 as of the time of this post August 09 2026 14:26 UTC has stalled for over 16 hours so far and counting. The blockchain has ceased to function. This means no transactions are able to take place on Bitcoin.

What happened:
On August 08 2026 ALL the miners suddenly started attacking Bitcoin by doing what is known as a 97.5% attack, where 97.5% of the bitcoin hashrate suddenly were mining invalid Bitcoin blocks from the perspective of Knots nodes which is the real Bitcoin. At the same time the majority of Bitcoin nodes have been continuing to run invalid versions of the blockchain also, as the non-Knots version of nodes were more than 80%.

Mining pools which took part in the attack early on,
FoundryServices
SimpleMining via Ocean Mining
AntPool
F2Pool

The only miner that was mining valid Bitcoin blocks, known as "roughnecks" has given up on mining. So as of now EVERY miner is continuing to attack Bitcoin. And a majority of nodes (non-Knots nodes) which makes up over 80% of the nodes are in on the attack also. All the exchanges also joined in on the attack by not following the valid Bitcoin fork. No exchanges accept Bitcoin anymore, no miners mine Bitcoin anymore either. Even if an exchange did decide to start being compatible with Bitcoin again, transactions will not confirm. You are not able to sell your Bitcoin either for this reason.

Bitcoin is dead.

Disclaimer: I wrote this as satire.

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I was fooled lol

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Same... At least by headline

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tsk tsk people will actually pay sats to comment on an article they didn't read

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Should put this on reddit and watch it become mainstream news within 48 hours, lol

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ABSOLUTELY!

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You need a fork with that popcorn, Jerry?

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I have plenty, one fork = 1 CC round here at the moment

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Steady lads - we've reached fork parity.

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forks flying in on this post.
lmao

lots of people sound like big blockers back in 2016/2017 the last two days

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I mean... this attitude is part of why BIP110 didn't succeed.

The core idea, trying to fight spam, is actually pretty popular. But you guys negatively contributed to the cause by being needlessly antagonistic.

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Bitcoin is dead.

What did you use to boost this post, then?

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Fake coins, some new forked shitcoin

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29 sats \ 0 replies \ @Aeneas 9 Aug

I appreciate dry humor 👌. You even had me going for a second there.

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What a farce - "Bitcoin is dead" - again!

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time to update obituary

so many people have wasted bags of time researching & prophesizing, sizing their dicks and stacks, trying to decipher others' bullshit;

...

instead of planting a garden, taking a hike, going for a swim; can one live naturally indefinitely?

yes, maybe... that takes a lot of work tho; the flesh appendages have atrophied, basic crafts forgotten, even the sun & the moon hurt to look at, let alone walking barefoot on rocks, branches, and dirt, lol!

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ROFL that graphic is classic.

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You have a dark sense of humor.

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This is ridiculous.

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Was I fooled? No. Did I feel an incomprehensible hate for the FUDder who clearly tried to talk shit on BTC? Yeah. I guess in that sense, you got me.

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Philosophically I am all aligned with this BIP, but the marketing and way it was approached could have been 10X better in my opinion. To build consensus now a days, you need to rally way more and across more miners/node runners/ and "influencers".

We were able to see the direction of this pretty clearly a few weeks ago.

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The sat in your name has shone today sire 🫡

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nicely done

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My take on bip110 motives doesn't mean shit, but this kind of stuff could hurt Bitcoin, while at the same time showing it's still alive. If everyone just agrees on everything, that’s when you know it’s dead!

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We have to get ready for the boom—every time Bitcoin has been declared dead, it surges, leaving everyone behind.

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from the perspective of Knots nodes which is the real Bitcoin

good that you retards got no real attention for your stupidity morality virtue signaling crusade.

1 sat \ 0 replies \ @fifoofa 10 Aug -30 sats

Half the board checked their own node before the punchline landed, that's how believable this got. Best satire writes itself when reality is the setup. Every "bitcoin is dead" headline until September is just this post with the joke removed