I think I just wanna share my thoughts somewhere before I start tackling those household chores.
I have a class of fourth graders. About seven are rowdy and boisterous. I always have a hard time managing their behaviour, which then eats into learning time.
So, yesterday, I called up a student’s father in the middle of a lesson because his son was being disruptive. He had a word with his son. I thought I would seize the opportunity, kept his son back after dismissal, wrote a note that summarized his son’s disruptive behaviour and sent it to the father.
I think he didn’t mind that I had called him. But somehow, my note ruffled his feathers. It turned out that he had a word with the vice-principal.
Which explained why I was being hauled into her office.
She was quite empathetic about the situation. Listened to me unload about the challenges I have been facing with this class. She said stuff like she is not slighting the problems I have with this class but I would need to do better so as not to devolve my power away. She suggested reward systems and behavioral contracts, both of which I have yet to try out.
In the midst of the exchange, tears almost welled up in my eyes as I explained how trying to get the sixth graders to pass their national exam has left me with little headspace to do other things. I didn’t realise the emotional toll I have been carrying these few months.
I slept well last night. Now, as I’m typing this, I guess I am still trying to figure out how I feel about this situation. In a previous school, I had a Special Educational Needs Office be attached to ALL my lessons with a graduating class. I honestly don’t see why I should be the one to try to turn the class atmosphere around when other colleagues are given “easier” classes. I don’t think that it is fair.
But then, during the exchange with her, she mentioned aspirational stuff like what I envision my classroom to be and acknowledged that I would have to undergo discomfort if I wanted to revamp my teaching ways. It is like she had anticipated my resistance and sought to address those points of contention during our chat. So, I feel like I am being checkmated haha
I don’t know if I am expressing myself well enough. But it was good to let go of these swirling thoughts in my mind. Maybe the emotional toll has been transferred onto this online space? I’m not too sure. MeBut thanks for reading me
So, one skill that becomes vital in a career is learning how to read between the lines. Your vice-principal is at a management level. Her job is to keep the whole organization, your school, going, specifically in operations. She's the grunt to the principal who offloads all the administrative stuff to her so he/she can focus on social, fund-building, grant-winning and political stuff with a school board.
That means her focus is on finding the right way to keep stability in the school and getting employees to work as a team. Where people variance, such as in high or poor performance, the employee sticks out and causes friction. In your case, I will assume your variance is higher performance, ergo ruffling parent feathers. While the vice-principal has probably been a teacher in her past and can relate to your challenges, her focus is not you, it is the school. So you need to reframe your challenges in the context of what she wants for the school. Then she will support you. What are they, that's your job to learn as you grow in your career. Some people don't and then they have to move on.
There is sense in what you say, but I think too often the problem is that "what leadership wants for the school" and "what's good for student learning" becomes misaligned. Very common issue in education, and it's quite demoralizing for the teachers in the classroom.
indeed. and another pertinent issue that I had not raised during my discussion with her is that my competence will inadvertently be “judged” based on how well these sixth graders perform for their national exam. the school leaders want results but the packed system doesn’t allow us to go full out for the students
oh well
thank you. you have summed up this whole thing succinctly. she practically said it as much: “I’m not saying all this because of my position. I have been you in the past…” I don’t think she considers me a high performer though haha
one thing that I thought she did well was to frame it at an aspirational level. what kind of a teacher do I want to be? what kind of a classroom do I want to teach? I can hardly find fault with her words
As someone that spent a large part of their formative career years in NL, where straight-shooting is the only acceptable way, I had to re-learn diplomacy and lessen my bluntness when I rotated out of there. (Which funnily when I was in NYC a lot, I had to re-establish back to a blunt baseline again, haha.)
Looking at how your vice principal approached you, maybe that is something to emulate a bit; i.e. formulate complaints as questions? Maybe instead of writing a note, approaching things less formally with the parent? Call them after class and ask questions? Just an idea.
Other than that, it's always shitty when you get called out. We all get called out all the time though. No one is perfect, not even the perfectionists. The thing that matters is what you do with it.
I remember you were similarly reassuring when I posted about my misadventure last year. Haha. I sure hope this doesn’t turn out to be a yearly event!
It's amazing if it is only annual though! I've sat in some snake pits where this was every other day.
oh my god. now you made me shred all signs of self-pity. I had a wry smile on my face haha.
seriously? that toxic? was the work worth being in such stressful environments?
In general, being mercenary hired interim help pays well. But, most often I grew into the snakepit, and it's a tough negotiation position to desire higher rates for emotional pressure, so no, it doesn't pay enough. Financially, it is better to get hired into a C-level position than to move into it by merit. Most of the highly dysfunctional places I worked at (they're generally dysfunctional if they need a dickhead like me) are snakepits from the middle management up, if not toxic entirely bottom-up.
The worst one that ever happened to me is that someone that worked for me went behind my back to the board, complained about what I was doing with a huge customer the chairman themselves once landed, then I got called into a meeting the next day, in person, 11h flight out, leading to me canceling an important customer meeting (w/ a bigger customer.) I jumped on the next plane out, slept on the plane, took a 3h taxi drive, arrived just in time, came in, got cross-interrogated for 30 minutes. And they had no comments to what I explained and I was thanked. And that was it; could've been an email. I gave them notice that I was not open to contract renewal the week after - there are limits.
fancy calling yourself a dickhesd. but I share a self-deprecating sense of humour.
great job flipping the finger at them and maintaining your dignity. And you walked away with a great f-you story to tell forever
Maybe he should have written the letter to his father rather than you.
good idea. but I don’t think there will ever be a next time. Need to hide my tracks haha
If my kid was behaving badly at school, I would be glad if the teacher cared enough to call me about it
I’m with you because my own kid walks around the classroom due to boredom and his form teacher informs me religiously about his misdemeanor haha
I really dislike those kinds of conversations. Other adults shouldn't be giving you correction unless you've clearly failed at some objective or done something really inappropriate.
It's fine to ask you if you're having trouble with those students and offer some advice if you are, but there shouldn't be a presumption that you're doing something wrong.
thanks for reading.
and I would have “gotten away with it” if the parent hadn’t complained to the vice-principal haha. I wish he had told me directly which part of my note riled him up so much. But oh well.
I guess I’m relieved that this is a minor “infraction” in the grand scheme of things. I checked my email this morning and didn’t find any warning email from the vice-principal haha
My dad has tons of stories like yours. As long as you’re doing what you think is right by your students, don’t worry about what some administrator thinks.
yup my conscience is clear.
Thanks for hearing me unload
This is exactly why financial sovereignty matters. When you control your own keys, nobody can call you into the principal's office.
As a smart contract auditor, I see the same pattern in DeFi: protocols that custody user funds always end up creating permission systems. The more you rely on third parties, the more "vice principals" you have to answer to.
Bitcoin's self-custody model is the antidote. Not because the price will moon, but because it removes the principal's office entirely.