In my view, teaching our children to defend themselves is vital to their upbringing.
Defending yourself means more than just landing a good blow; it also encompasses knowing how to respond confidently, how to ask for help, and how to recognize when walking away is the best option.
I am going to focus on the school environment the place where our children find themselves without our supervision and care. In my view, this is where they put into practice everything they have learned at home, since that is where their social interactions originate.
At home, we have taught our daughter to follow three steps in case someone bothers her verbally: First, ignore it; if that doesn't work, respond in a firm voice; third, ask a teacher for help.
Defending herself against physical attacks: Since she doesn't know how to fight, I tell her she should run away and ask for help immediately. I haven't told her things like "hit back," "push," or similar things because she won't do it the right way. She's small and thin, and it could all end up being worse if she tries to defend herself against physical attacks on her own. She did karate for a while, but the truth is she didn't like it and didn't learn much. This year I want to enroll her in kickboxing classes. I don't want her to be a bully, I don't want her to be the one to throw the first punch, I don't want her to be the one looking for trouble, but I do want her to know how to throw the right punch or subdue the person who tries to attack her.
Sadly, she has reached the age where she could encounter a peer who might want to sexually assault her ranging from stealing a kiss or groping her to something far more serious. I only pray that life is kind to her and spares her from such horrific experiences; still, my job as a mom is to make things clear so she knows how to recognize when she is being assaulted.
I tell her that asking an adult for help won't make her a coward; on the contrary, it shows intelligence.
The new school year is about to start in Venezuela, and I’m a little nervous, praying that the days go well.
You are valuable; your voice is important and deserves to be heard. No one is superior to you, and you are not superior to anyone else. These are the phrases I constantly repeat to her.
I think every kid should learn some kind of self defense. Not to start fights, but to have the confidence to protect themselves if they ever need to.
Homeland..... I told you twice!
exactly
I have 3 sons, all under 10 and within 19 months of each other. They constantly roughhouse and fight 6amongst themselves as siblings are wont to do.
Now however, they have a 7 month old baby sister. It is very funny to see them be little buttheads and refuse to pick up their clothes yet will drop whatever they are doing to help take care of her.
I am not worried about them physically thankfully as they are some of the older and more developed in their classes and have done various sports including self defense for.a bit. Plus, there are 3 of them, and while they may fight amongst themselves if a common enemy presents itself I can see them all taking care of it, socially as well as physically
I am more worried about their attitude growing up, as they have the potential to be bullies, as they have the physicallity to become that, and they have the numbers. The only way yo nip that I can see is to give them somrthing greater than themselve. It may not be fair, but I plan to use that new found protective big brotherness as a medium to impart some lessons into them. Things like protecting the weak, respect for everyone no matter ability, and teamwork towards a good cause.
My son learned taekwondo. My daughter hasn't started training in any martial arts yet but maybe we will start her this year.
I think there is a lot of value in girls learning ju jitsu. It levels the playing field on size and strength.
Ju Jitsu and just general dirty tricks.
I prefer dirty tricks, there is no honor in losing
The real dirty move was starting the fight. Everything done in self-defense is fair game.
My daughter is interested in taekwondo because of the videos she’s seen showing how professionals execute the kicks, and my husband also suggested ju jitsu for the same reason.
We communicated the same basic steps you described.
While recounting a particular incident, where a group of boys were physically blocking her from getting away, I did tell her to just bite one of them.
I have no patience for bullying and I plan on teaching her to fight as dirty as possible if anyone is physically restraining her.
I completely agree; no one wants their children to go through a situation like that, but if it does happen, it’s good to know they will defend themselves fiercely.
I wish. She was horrified by the suggestion.
Still, I want to make sure it’s clear to her that I support her doing what she needs to do to stay safe.
That is a very important point—knowing that they have our support; many children don't stand up for themselves because they think they will be punished.
Children learn mostly not by what you say but by what you do.
Walking away isn't cowardice, it is smart safety
My oldest son is 4 years old and here at home I've been training him with grappling and wrestling to encourage him to fight. Since I'm a quiet homebody, it's difficult for me, but he's enjoyed it and I've been learning from videos. One of the reasons I want to leave this damn apartment for a house is to set up a training space; even I'm starting to need it.
I want to move into a house too; they're much more comfortable, and having a space to work out would be amazing.
.......that's the way
My kid had a similar problem at school, kids were messing with him. I told him to ignore them unless they make physical contact. Then punch them in the face as hard as you can. He doesn't like violence but I said good neither do I. If you do it once the right way you won't have to do it again. Make an example out of one and the rest will stop. This is the Israeli way. No eye for an eye shit. You can talk all you want but if you take one hair off our back we will gouge out your eye. This way we have all the hair on our back, you still have one eye and everyone else have two eyes because they saw what happened to you.
That's right; if the other children see that he doesn't defend himself, they'll get used to picking on him. Unfortunately, sometimes a little well-channeled violence solves the problem.
To defend against physical attacks, give sharp objects (not sharp enough to pierce, but sharp enough to cause discomfort) to her. For example, a long pen. If you poke your opponent with it, they will never be able to approach you. More effective than a punch.
Interesting. Which areas?
It can be applied to any part of the body. Of course, this excludes the head, as this could potentially harm the other person.
Interesting post; those of us with school-age children ask ourselves the same questions. That experience can be traumatic, so we need to build enough trust for them to talk to us about even the smallest things—that is the key. Practicing combat sports helps them a great deal in every respect; it gives them the confidence and courage to face any challenge, and it also instills humility.
I would like my daughter to practice sports as it will be useful for her whole life, but she is not yet old enough; for now she only studies languages twice a week.