For me, it was giving up everything I knew to live in Japan for two years.
When I was 31, I took a pay cut to work in Japan as an Assistant Language Teacher with the Japan Exchange Teaching program. I was a teacher then, and my vice principal told me a particularly poignant thing, “I hope you don’t come back and feel that you have missed out on life.”
His well-meaning advice has manifested because I got to restart when I returned to Singapore two years later. I am still an individual contributor while my peers are bringing in the bucks as established managers. I did go through a period of wondering if I should have made more out of my life financially.
But here’s the thing. I visited more than 30 prefectures during my 2 years there. I hosted people from all over the world at my apartment and even went to sleep on their couches for my guests living in South Korea and Taiwan. I gained first-hand insights of Japan and its idiosyncrasies. I must have assimilated so well into Japanese culture because I married a lady. And we have two bicultural kids.
I rolled with the dice. Lost some and won some. Wouldn’t have changed anything. At this age where you have few liabilities, go where your heart tells you to.
When I first saw the title of this post I was going to reply with something flippant, like "being born was a real turning point in my life, before that everything was just dark", but then I read your post and did a bit of a double take.
I've read lots of your posts and thought you still lived in Japan, and as I have a connection to Japan always tuned in when I saw something from you.
When I was in my 20s, I also went to Japan on the JET Programme, not as an ALT but the other job on that programme, the CIR. Before that, I spent two years in Japan on a working holiday visa, teaching English at a conversation school.
But here's where my story differs from yours, in the 90s, when I went, going to Japan and earning yen was a huge pay rise, not a pay cut. Especially for the kind of work I was doing in New Zealand.
Once in Japan, I studied the language and travelled all over Japan as well as a dozen countries in Asia. When I got back home, armed with my Japanese language I starting working as a tourism guide, and eventually started my own company running tours for Japanese visitors. Then one day on a tour, I met a Japanese tour guide, who became my wife a few years after that.
Thirty years on, I look back and see that visiting Japan was a huge turning point in my life. I still go back there every year and have many connections to Japan and Japanese people.
It's now strange to see that Japan is affordable, and my own country much more expensive. I remember in the early 2000s, visitors to NZ would always remark how cheap everything was. Now Japanese travellers can't afford to come to New Zealand, or not as many of them can.
Earning yen in the 90s was like holding Bitcoin in the early years, it just kept on going up, and when you took it to SE Asia, India or other places, you could live like a king. I travelled for so long on my savings built up in Japan.
The connections and opportunities I made from going to Japan were, and still are to this day, the biggest turning point in my life. Apart from being born, that trumps everything :)
Thanks for the post, took me down memory lane!
Sounds like you were at the right place at the right time. So many questions on my mind.
And thank you for being born
We were not lucky enough to have kids unfortunately. We still keep up ties with my wife's family by going back to Japan every year, she goes twice. I like very much having a home to visit in another country. I get very spoiled when I go there.
Yes, I pivoted away from the Japanese market, but not really because of the decline in that market but because of opportunities in other markets. The Japan lessons continued here too. After working to the high standards required by Japanese travellers (accommodation, dining, vehicles, service, inclusions) I noticed thought that other markets (notably the US and UK) would like the same level of service so launched a new company.
I described it as "Toyota efficiency in the backend with Kiwi friendliness on the front end", and it was a hit. Turns out American travellers like good service too!
But now I work more in IT for travel companies, over the years I've picked up a lot of tricks about websites and booking systems, so that's what I do now.
I still love the travel industry and guiding in the outdoors, but haven't guided a trip myself for 5 years.
Thank you for your stories here on SNZ!
oh I get what you mean. the first few years, I would protest and offer to help my mother-in-law do some household chores, but these days, I just take a backseat and let her spoil me. haha.
the Japanese omotenashi is real. I never cease to be amazed by how the service staff can anticipate my needs before I even come to that conclusion myself. Kiwi friendliness + Japanese meticulousness is a potent combination. I love how laidback and unassuming you Kiwis are.
Are you upskillinh yourself by dabbling with AI agents now? If so, is the learning curve steep?
Thank you for swapping life stories. Brings some cheer to the daily grind
People are laid back here for sure, but sometimes a bit too lack and not that motivated! Ask any American who has worked here, Kiwis are cool, but sometimes stuck in second gear.
AI, oh yeah, I am leaning into that heavily. My next business is going to be leveraging AI to do what I do, and be as productive as a team of 10 people, but without having to hire anyone.
Right now I spend the first 1.5 hours of my day learning AI, at the moment I'm learning Hermes. It's steep, but the gains are big I think. Cos I'm self employed I benefit from being more productive so am diving deep.
Glad you're enjoying the chat. Are you a teacher still?
I think I saw you mention once sometime that you were a teacher.
yes still a teacher. thanks for noticing haha.
I teach elementary English and Science.
being a teacher is fine, especially when my son is in the same school as me, but given the plethora of things on my plate, I find it hard to immerse myself in deep work. it’s nice that you can carve out 1.5 hours every day to live your authentic life
the "sensei" in the nym was a clue too.
yeah the deep work is harder than i think to achieve.
i work from home so there are distractions.
the price i pay for my first 1.5 hours a day is getting up at 5am!
good luck with everything and keep posting, i'm always reading.
My best life is my least authentic
I used to work in travel, profit margins are too slim
edit: people in Japan are not having kids either, in fact the population is shrinking
I feel like populations all over the world are shrinking. probably the African countries still meet the fertility replacement rate of 2.1
you are right about the profit margins, it was a great lifestyle but I never made lots of money. but i travelled all over my own country, and the world, with that job. all my friends with office jobs were very jealous.
you could make ok money, not finance bro money, but in the 90s and early 2000s, things were way more affordable. all the people i knew who worked as guides and travel companies bought houses, like everyone else. now, that's out of the question.
i love working in travel, so moved into IT for travel companies. better $$, way less seasonal and less prone to shocks.
how have your extensive travel experiences shaped you to be different from your countrymen? or the travel industry is important but doesn’t necessarily shape your identity?
One thing that is common in NZ is for young people to travel a lot. We have a saying here "OE", which means Overseas Experience. People will say "he's on his OE". All my friends have lived in many different countries, and then most return to NZ.
I know you live in SIngapore, but I'm not assuming you're Singaporean, but if you are you are probably similar in the fact that you don't come from a global power and your population is small, so you have to learn about the world.
We all grow up, and continue living, with the knowledge that NZ is small and there is a big wide world out there, very different from home and we want to experience it.
I grew up in a mid sized (very dull) city in NZ, and at 21 I went to the US for a year, then at 23 I was in Japan. Very formative experiences, but not actually that uncommon for Kiwis.
I just wanted to work in travel because I thought banks and insurance companies looked like really boring places to work. And we come from a tourism country, so there's a lot work around. When I started you could earn OK money, enough to survive and even buy a house, so we didn't feel like we were losing anything.
And the work experiences were unbelievable, helicopter trips into the NZ backcountry, hiking on glaciers, underworld rafting and caving. But the best thing was the people we met, I have visited many people I've guided over the years at their home in the US, Japan and Australia. And made lots of great friends from the people I worked with.
Good work stories and good friends.
oh I’m Singaporean.
can certainly relate to a lot of what you’re saying. Many Singaporeans love to travel and actively seek to indulge in their wanderlust. having said that, we are quite risk-averse as a people. you mentioned about exorbitant housing prices in New Zealand. the same thing happens here, hence we are conditioned to get stellar grades, graduate with multiple internships and degrees, make fuck you money in finance and tech, find someone to marry and buy a flat together. it’s all frightfully formulaic. But I don’t judge other people. Aside from my stint in Japan, I follow largely this prescribed route to “success” haha.
I feel that being a parent has prevented me from travelling much. I used to resent fatherhood so much because I thought it had stripped me of my freedom and identity. But on the other hand, I know that I’m blessed to have my kids come into my life. These days, I just try to gain unique experiences in my home country.
一緒に頑張りましょう
You are from NZ? The dingo ate your baby
You would be referring to Australia, another continent actually. You'll notice it on a world map. You are from the US I guess? I love Wayne Gretzky man, he was so cool.
That line is from a famous movie called Evil Angels, with Meryl Streep and Sam Neil, who was a Kiwi actually. And it was "a dingo stole my baby".
I asked if you are from NZ because of your username
I was actually quoting Elaine from Seinfeld
In the Seinfeld episode "The Stranded," Elaine Benes delivers the iconic line "Maybe the dingo ate your baby" to mock a woman who was repeatedly and obnoxiously referring to her missing fiancé as "the poor baby."
The quote is a reference to the infamous 1980 Azaria Chamberlain case in Australia, where Lindy Chamberlain-Creighton claimed a dingo took her infant daughter, a story popularized by the 1988 film A Cry in the Dark starring Meryl Streep. Elaine uses the line with a fake Australian accent to shut down the woman's dramatic complaining, leveraging a well-known pop culture reference to highlight the absurdity of the situation.
Edit:
Did a dingo eat a baby?
Yes, a dingo killed and consumed Azaria Chamberlain, a nine-week-old Australian infant, on August 17, 1980, during a family camping trip at Uluru (Ayers Rock).
While her mother, Lindy Chamberlain, was initially wrongfully convicted of murder after authorities rejected her claim that a dingo took the baby, she was exonerated in 1986 after Azaria’s clothing was found near a dingo lair. The legal saga ended in 2012 when Coroner Elizabeth Morris officially ruled that Azaria’s death was the result of a dingo attack, confirming the truth of Lindy Chamberlain’s original statement.
I know, I was just teasing. I didn't know Lindy was born in NZ.
It was big news, I remember it as a kid, and we still say it in a fake Aussie accent.
The movie was called Evil Angels in NZ and Aus.
Lindy's husband was also born in NZ
I hate to admit this but I had no idea until Seinfeld
Typical American high culture
Lindy was also born in NZ
Wayne Gretzky's wife is American and most if not all of his children grew up in Los Angeles area
Very nice, appreciate you sharing that!
A major turning point for me was deciding to get my health and fitness in order.
Sounds cheesy, but just at the end of the covid era I listened to a Peter McCormack interview with Rich Roll (alcoholic turned ultra runner). Even though I wouldn't say that the interview itself was groundbreaking, something just clicked when I listened to it. Read Rich Roll's book "Finding Ultra" (again, the book is fine... notthing crazy). Signed up for CrossFit classes that week and I never looked back. It was just the timing, something aligned in my brain.
It transformed me physically, just by turning up daily. Now I'm competing in running and endurance events, and I'm kicking myself for not doing it earlier, because being strong and aerobically fit is an absolute game changer. Never going back.
(Thanks Pete and Rich 🙏)
wow you proved how when the disciple is ready, the master just shows up
why CrossFit instead of other sports?
your story is an inspiration
I'm going to start after I finish my last drink, which will be tomorrow or Monday or next week or next month or next year
But I am committed to change
Hahaha, exactly.
Japan is best place to settle for sure...
Ngl the currency there is weak right now. but prices haven’t increased much for us gaijin - more value for our money
the problem is not the currency
the problem is rigid monetary policy, exchange rate shenanigans, rigid labor markets, over regulation of businesses, very high taxes especially on property and inheritance and a corrupt Zaibutsu system
But now you live in Singapore right?
yes
I wrote this in response to a guy on Reddit seeking advice about whether he should take a pay cut to work in Japan
Discovering Bitcoin!
ah what can beat there?
Bro you answered your own question. You wondered if you should have made more financially - but you made a bicultural family. That's not lost, that's compounded for generations. Some dice rolls cost you manager title, but won you 30 prefectures, a wife, 2 kids and a whole second life. At few liabilities, heart > spreadsheet. You made the right call.
For me it was discovering Bitcoin and Stacker News. I realized I can actually earn by learning and sharing instead of just scrolling. Still at the beginning but excited for the journey. What about you?