My daughter started swim lessons this weekend and it was such a breath of fresh air. Up to this point, organized activities have been a real slog, even when she says she enjoys them. Her attention never held and she'd start goofing off and disrupting things for others.
Not so with swimming! As soon as she was in the water with her instructor she was locked-in, appearing to be fully engaged the whole time and having lots of fun. She was still messing around a little bit, but now it came in the flow of the activity. She even complained to us afterwards about the other kid in her lessons not following all the instructions!
She made meaningful progress, too. Our neighborhood has a pool, so she's spent a lot of time in the water but she never wanted to dunk her head under or try swimming without assistance. She was doing both happily by the end of the lesson and her instructor thinks she's just about ready for the next level.
It's a huge relief for us to know that she can cooperate and stay on task for prolonged periods. Now we just need to bridge these skills over to other domains.
If you're struggling to find the right activity for your kid, keep at it. There's no telling what it might be but you'll know it when you see it.
It does feel like so much of parenting is figuring out how to work with your child's personality.
Earlier today, I was working with my son on a little paper he had written. I asked him to rewrite one of the sentences because it was long and clunky. This made him quite grumpy.
At first, I just doubled down and repeated why I thought the sentence was confusing and told him he had to rewrite it. He resisted, and so we went, round and round.
Only later, thinking back on it, did I realize that the problem was that he had expected to move on to another subject and thought he was done with the paper. He wasn't resisting the concept so much as the timing. If I had told him he needed to rewrite it, but let him do the other subjects he wanted to do first, I think we wouldn't have had any trouble at all.
Finding the path that works with your kid's vision of the world makes things easier (this isn't quite the same as what you noticed with your daughter, but I think it's related).
I feel that you are so astute and aware (both self and situationally) to be able to make this observation about your child. Thanks for sharing. Indeed, timing is important
Definitely related. I've got to pay attention to what it is about swim lessons that works so well for her and try to make other things more like that or just put her in more settings that have similar features.
It sounds like your daughter is fiercely independent. I relate to the joy you must have felt when she willingly bent her will to partake in something she enjoyed. I feel that way every time my son happily helps out with composting projects at school (outside the classroom)!
I thought you would. I had you in mind when I wrote the post.
It's interesting. She's not exactly fiercely independent, because she does want other people to like what she's doing and join in, she just usually won't bend to accommodate how they want to play.
I think parenting really drives home what unconditional love is all about. In an ideal world, I would have wanted my son to behave in certain ways - but do I want him to change himself drastically to follow my tune? Hell no. So I accept and meet him halfway
Exactly! That's why I want to learn from the swimming example and make her other settings ones she can thrive in without radically changing her personality.
Sounds like fun - the investigative approach you are adopting haha. Could it be that she really likes her swimming instructor - his sense of humour etc?
No, she was into it too quickly and she’s had two different instructors already.
I think it’s just a great activity for kids with her temperament.
Keep us updated on your journey
Will do
My daughter enjoyed her swimming lessons this summer. She will probably do them again next summer. We are trying to lock in on a fall winter activity for her but having a bit of scheduling issues. I wanted to put her in this boxing class I found but the timing of the class for her age isn't ideal. We were also thinking about volleyball or indoor soccer over at the Y. I need to check the days and times.
I loved indoor soccer when I was a kid. The walls were live so you could kick yourself pretty awesome header opportunities.
Yes, very fun. Floor hockey as well. Did you play that as a kid? Or is that just a Canadian thing?
We played floor hockey in PE. I don't know if there were any leagues.
We could put her in floor hockey but she hasn't played any hockey at all so I am concerned she is just going to get run over by the boys who play hockey all the time.
That sounds very likely
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