This is a good opportunity to record a Loom video. It basically records your screen while overlaying a small circular frame that captures your face. So you can click through your deck while speaking. The result is a video you can share that shows your pitch deck and you talking through it. Best of both worlds. 

You can look at an example I recorded of a product demo I did. It’s on the bottom of this page usetypo.com (only shows on desktop). 

BryanMillstein

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Ask SN: Advice on improving SN's pitch deck

k00b

This is greatly appreciated. Thanks. 

I've gotten similar feedback about too much text. My main concern is I'll be sending the deck over email and not presenting it in all cases so I kind of need to "inline" explanations. I might record a youtube video or something though instead in which case I'll definitely back off the text. I should break it up in bullets at least though - I just tend to feel bullets are a drag and wanted to tell it more like a story, but after feedback this is probably misguided.

Useful feedback all around that I'll try to integrate before escalating to the "intended" audience.