There is a very easy way to identify the limits that you have set for yourself: just look for the words 'I can't' in your vocabulary.

_"I can't... ask for a raise."

"I can't... have a healthy relationship."

"I can't... quit my job."

"I can't... move out of this town."

"I can't... become healthier."

"I can't... speak up about that."

"I can't... create that."

"I can't... change." _

The words 'I can't' shut down all possibilities. They make it impossible to see opportunities for creative problem-solving; they persuade you that you are stuck right where you are; they compel you to believe that there is a ceiling on your growth, creativity, and impact. In short, they block you from being able to be the greatest version of you. Two tiny words, one big cost.

Anytime that you catch yourself using 'I can't' in conversation — with another person or yourself — it should set off a big alarm bell in your head, alerting you: "This belief is an intruder in the home of your self. It does not belong here."

Often, identifying that this belief even exists is the hardest step. We’ve been living with the ‘I can’t’ for so long that we’ve stopped noticing its presence. Once you do, you can start to overcome it. Here's my absolute favorite way to do that.

First, disarm it. Swap the 'can't' for a 'can.' Instead of saying to yourself, "I can't ask for a raise," say to yourself "I can ask for a raise."

You won’t really believe this yet, and that’s okay — you don’t have to! You just have to pretend that you believe it. Ask yourself: "If I truly believed that I could ask for a raise, what would I do next?"

Immediately, you’ll be free of the limit. With it, you will start to see those possibilities that were previously invisible to you. You will be able to come up with next steps and action plans. You’ll identify people who can help you. You’ll start to take action. And as you do, you’ll start to step into your potential, becoming more and more of yourself.