171 sats \ 16 replies \ @Natalia 28 Sep 2023 \ on: What's holding you back right now? meta
unwanted obligations imposed by family and the culture you were born into.
how would you solve problem like this? @darthcoin
My wife solved this problem by running away........Its almost like I kidnapped her. She gets along better with her folks now that they see her happy and doing well.
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I did move to the other part of the world, but the problem remains unsolved, and it almost feels like it's haunting me occasionally.
And what happened in between?
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I think whats interesting in my wife's case, is that the relationship she has with her family significantly improved. In between was a daily/weekly screaming match.....nowadays they say "I love you" before hanging up the phone. Maybe time, communication, and love are the key. All families are different tho
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wow, and fun fact - the culture which I was born into, people barely say "I love you" or hug their kids.! now I am in a culture where the parents and kids are like friends, always hugging and kissing, lots of sharing and spending time together.
It's crazy to see how culture could have such a BIG influence on parenting.
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Ha! Same scenario over here.
My wifes mom saw me interacting with my mom, I think it confused the hell out of her, because we were genuinely laughing telling jokes and exchanging "I love you"s
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would you choose to do what makes others happy or make yourself happy long term? But then the culture would make you feel guilty if you choose for yourself, madness...
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It is, it's going against individual freedom and happiness in many ways.
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what problem?
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you lived in communist places before, didn't it affect the parenting too? " You are supposed to do whatever everybody does instead of walking your own path."
Like I should have already married and have kids by my age, yet I'm still exploring on my own, and many other forced obligations, why can't I just roam free like a bird 😳
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Oh the post is about parenting? Maybe I didn't understand the question.
Don't take it too seriously the parenting thing.
I have a daughter too. But I raise her to be independent from me as much is possible.
And she is now.
I know, moms take too seriously this role, but is not necessary.
Is better to have kids earlier, so they can fly earlier from your "protection" and not be anymore a "problem" for you.
So you could have more time for you to enjoy it.
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But I raise her to be independent from me as much is possible.
This is the way, but no, I am not worrying about my own parenting, I would just let the kid do whatever he/she wants in life, they are free to choose because it's their own life.
I'm talking about what if your parents put some unwanted obligations on you, or try different ways to affect/ control you, e.g. making you feel guilty about exploring your own life.
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Oh yes they did that to me. But I consider it more a reflection of their anger about the system and wrongfully they push it over me.
But I retreat myself into books. I read a lot when I was young.
Also my grandpa helped me a lot with advice and teaching me a lot of stuff about life. He fought in bought WW, a real survivor.
I was kind of independent kid at the age of 15. I was even running an "illegal" business in school and earning quite good money.
I didn't want to depend too much of my parents. I was a rebel, always.
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Oh yes they did that to me. But I consider it more a reflection of their anger about the system and wrongfully they push it over me.
I know that's also part of their familiar way of parenting from their own parents, so I don't know how to solve this problem, and it's causing mental conflicts.
I was kind of independent kid at the age of 15. I was even running an "illegal" business in school and earning quite good money. I didn't want to depend too much of my parents. I was a rebel, always.
I was a rebel too! More like just thinking for myself instead of following the BS; I started making my own money from young too, I even worked as a freelance translator to practice my English during school time, I like learning in the wild 🤣 and almost couldn't graduate from uni because I didn't want to waste time writing that stupid paper.!
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👀 @DarthCoin
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