I hit a wall in my parenting journey and was wondering if you could provide me with insights and perspectives.

Logically, we know that we shouldn’t resort to bribery when getting small kids to do our bidding, because this works only for the short term. Also, we want to avoid the risk of them being lured into materialism because we spoil them too much. But, I think sometimes, toddlers being toddlers, a bribe goes a long way because they are cranky and irritable as a result of not getting enough sleep etc. Talking to them doesn’t seem to work; also, there is no luxury of spending too much time with them because your other child may be wailing in the background.

So I have no qualms about using the occasional bribe. So does my wife. What I’m bothered about is the timing. My wife bought a Tomica toy (cattle truck) for him yesterday. I think it was understandable because we were visiting another prefecture, so the toy counted as some sort of souvenir.

Today, he refused to have his breakfast, insisting that he wanted to buy a Tomica shark truck. (His grandfather gave him money last night.) At first, we stood firm but eventually, my wife relented, saying that he could use his money to buy the shark truck if he fulfilled various conditions. I’m a bit bothered by this because I think it’s too soon for my son to buy another toy, even though he’s using his own money.

But before I have a chat with my wife about this, I just wanna know if you have used bribery in your child-rearing journey and how long do you encourage them to play with their toys (and milk the utility out of that purchase) before you allow them to buy the next toy?

Thanks in advance. Your experiences will help me shape my parenting philosophy.