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Archival File #570 code approved 221AS Commercial Bureau-Original Commercial Follows

HEY! ARE YOU SATISFIED WITH YOUR LIFE? Do YOU have a significant other that isn't a digital representation? Well, it's just possible that YOU might be a loser! I know what you are thinking, you are thinking, hey, Alfansad, how can I be a loser in a holographic world? Well, the beauty of it is you can ONLY be a loser if you allow yourself to be, because hey, it's all made up anyway! One step you can take, though, to change your mental space is meditation. WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT? I don't know about YOU, but I am a man on the go, and when I go, I don't have time for sitting! Meditation is about doing nothing, and I am ALL ABOUT doing the HELL out of something, for as long as I live! I can do nothing when I'm dead, and meditate all I want then. Besides, all those guys and gals who seriously meditated came to the conclusion we already understand--reality is more like a dream--or hologram.

The beauty of this understanding produces something better than meditation--Warbles! Friend, let me just tell you right now, I have some of the finest Warbles on the market. If you pop one of these in your neural net, your mental space will instantly shift up for up to four hours! You don't need mental discipline to enjoy increased concentration! All you need is a Warble! Do you have performance anxiety for the big test, or to impress a lady friend? Pop my confidence Warble, and you will blow that test away, and leave your lady friend breathless! Maybe you are a single Mom, though, and you need a little extra energy. Pop my endurance Warble and I promise you that you'll have enough energy to come home from work and cook and get that house of yours in tip-top shape! Maybe you can't afford physical alteration to fix an unsightly feature. With my aesthetics Warble, you can project an aura of aesthetic beauty for at least four hours, and for only a fraction of the cost of surgery! But, don't take my word for it. Take the world of some of my customers--like Berlicia!

"Hi, I'm Berlicia! I used to be extremely introverted. In job interviews, I would tell the interviewer the truth. If they asked what my skills were, I gave them an honest assessment. I could never understand why someone less qualified than me would get the position. Then, one day, I met a lady in person who had gotten the position that I was denied. In speaking to her, I realized that she had something I didn't have. She had the ability to socially lie in the service of her ego. Whereas I had been relying on expertise and objective evaluations of my skills, this lady was bending the truth in so many creative ways as sot create a favorable impression that nothing else mattered. I wasn't sure how to cultivate this skill set, but I could tell that this lady was an extrovert and enjoyed the attention and interaction she had with human beings.

After doing some reading, I determined the best way for me to experience this state of mind was to pop a Warble. I needed to shift my mind space away from the truth and more into extroverted persuasion based on socially charming falsehoods. When it came to landing jobs, it was not about the most qualified candidate so much as it was about the most well-liked candidate and since introverts tend to be a minority, odds were an extrovert would be in charge of hiring. I selected the 'Aristocrat' Warble after doing some research and determining that it was likely to have the qualities I most needed.

Before my next job interview, I popped the Aristocrat Warble, and went into my interview. I spent probably 30 minutes talking about vacation spots I had enjoyed and probably 5 minutes discussing my actual job skills. What's more, I actually enjoyed the interaction. Normally I would have regarded this as pointless small talk and would have focused on my professional achievements and merits and would have been eager to be done talking so I could go back to learning. To my surprise, however, even though I was only dimly qualified for the position, I got the job anyway. Warbles opened my eyes and changed my life. It didn't matter what I knew, it only mattered if I connected with people about pointless things! I would never have known this without WARBLES!"

See, Berlicia learned a social truth she was oblivious to because she used MY PRODUCT! It is entirely possible that had she not taken my Warble Berlicia would never had the insight she had, or landed the job she got. Her story is one of many. Consider the case of Primordo:

"Hi, I'm Primordo. When I was very young, I was surrounded by brothers who would take my stuff. I learned at an early age that whoever was the toughest got to keep their stuff. If you had something in your hands, then you had better be prepared to draw blood to keep it.

When I became an adult, I carried this lesson with me into the business world where it served me well as I rose through the ranks to own my own business. Then, I met Alicensona, my long-time girlfriend. Alicensona was mine, and if anybody else thought they were going to take her, they had another thing coming. Unlike the things I had to fight for from childhood, Alicensona was far more valuable to me than any toy or gadget. For one, she cooked for me. For two, I loved her. For three, we were sexual partners. Other men want to take Alicensona away from me for their benefit. I resolved that this would never happen.

One day, a man by the name of Kentaron decided he would try to woo Alicensona. It took a while for me to because aware of what was happening. I could tell Alicensonsa was hiding something from me. One night when I confronted her, she admitted that Kentaron and she were having an emotional affair. I slapped her across the face, and through her sobs obtained the information pertaining to this Kentaron fellow. Unfortunately, an Enforcer was dispatched to our house, and I was placed on probation. I had to learn to control my temper or face further consequences. That's when I thought about a Warble. I selected 'Tranquil Sea' from the available Warbles, and within minutes I was shifted. I could clearly see how my habituation responses had been shaped by circumstance and how I was essentially a slave to them. I apologized to my girlfriend for my violent actions. I take at least a Warble a day as I continue to learn how to control my anger."

Primordo learned how to be a more tranquil person with my Warbles. It is important to note that Warbles are in no way addictive. You can take as many as you like as often as you like! Warbles will allow you to shift yourself however you see fit! Don't delay, shift yourself today! ORDER WARBLES!

End Archival File