Thank you for vocalising your fear on a public forum. Having it written down makes it more real and scary - and kudos to you for pushing through your reservations to do that

I think sleep deprivation will unfortunately be the new norm until the treatment and your feelings get a chance to settle down for a bit. It’s great that you have identified your coping mechanisms - going to the gym and journaling here. Lean on them to get extra boosts of energy to last you through the next hour.

I used to think that it’s helpful to frame things in terms of days, so “let’s take it one day at a time”. However, I had a friend who was going through a terrible breakup. Her method was to get through to the next hour. Having that pin-point focus 📍 may help you?

It also means that you can’t do it all at this stage of your life. I mean, you can accomplish everything, just not at the same time. All in good time, mate. I personally identify the one thing I have to accomplish that day and go all out to conquer it. It’s a good day if I can squeeze in 2-3 smaller tasks. Be less ambitious. Prioritise sleep over keeping the household clean.

Stay strong.