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I completely agree. I was trying to express the same thing.
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"War" is a weird magic word that somehow means none of our standards of justice apply anymore.
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True
On the other hand war between two nations or tribes cannot be adjudicated in a court of law like murder or theft
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I don’t attach any moral validity to statist constructs.
Calling it “collateral damage” doesn’t change the fact that it’s the same thing as mass murder.
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If someone robs my house and flees back to their home, it would not be self-defense for me to blow up their whole neighborhood.
Take it out of the euphemistic realm of war and put it in a more familiar domestic context. That should make the morality easier to assess.