you are trying to go on the short path, skipping important things: study and know WHO you are. That's not gonna work and you will end really bad in prison. Study and learn, there's plenty of documentation out there. start with the link I sent you several times. if you do not comprehend totally what is saying in that document, you cannot go further. It will be a mess. I cannot help you if you do not take the right path.

Take example from Lux. He's studying all this stuff, methodically, slowly, trying to comprehend each term. And he's doing great job.