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I thought they made a bunch of quality tools and such?

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Machinery etc, yes

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I use a lot of their tools.
But I wont lie, I think Japanese tool quality is better.

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Our beer is better....

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Not going to lie, Japanese beer tastes better, too.

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We need a contest

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A drinking contest?
I love those, I havent done one since college.
In fact, I cant even remember the contest I was so blackout drunk.

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If You can't remember it, You did well