As dumb as the term "whataboutism" is, that is the point it's getting at.

The problem is that honest reflection is completely contrary to the psychology of partisanship. Again, secession is far more plausible.

Once the two sides are not at each other's throats, because they aren't fighting for control of the same thing anymore, they'll be able to get along with each other. Red state Americans don't hate Europeans with the same passion that they hate Democrats, even though ideologically they might be even farther apart.