i think way too often us men put all out self-esteem eggs in the basket of how much we earn. in fact, most guys whole self-image and well-being is based on their job and salary - take one away (or reduce pay), and they spiral into depression. Most people are extremely fragile.
I used to be guilty of this and the thing that helped me move away from it was, firstly, going through a number of upheavals over the course of maybe 5 years, from having my high salary cut, to then leaving a job and starting various businesses, some of which failed and some succeeded. I took time to keep reading, listening to podcasts and growing.
Each time, i would anchor myself in the things that were important, my family, being useful to them and reminding myself that a number on a bank account isn't the main thing, it's the actions and positivity and value you bring to people around you.
It is hard to feel like you're a man when you don't make much or are on a downswing, but we can always focus on working on ourselves and also build self-esteem by becoming good at other skills and hobbies
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299 sats \ 3 replies \ @k00b 8 Nov
I read a great X thread a few days ago about how a man's father intentionally avoided climbing the ladder so he could spend more time with his children. The father got to coach his children's sports teams and never missed a game or a recital.
The father came to this realization after talking to a colleague that was retiring and expressed his regrets. The man recalled that while him and his siblings never had the latest stuff or a big house, they had a present dad.
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206 sats \ 1 reply \ @nichro 8 Nov
A lot of people equate "provider" = bring money, but it's only one facet of it.
The father from your thread sounds like he was a good provider of more than just money.
Arguably more important than solely money, and definitely more impactful for the kids and family who will remember his presence, his time as coach or support.
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yeah, my kid's friend's dad has made a lot of money in his time and he wasn't even at his own kids birthday party last time and i thought, that is some bullshit right there. how girls end up with daddy issues
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this reminds me of Rick Morranis (to the younger stackers, he was a big comedy actor in the 80s, Honey i shrunk the kids etc) who walked away from Hollywood to raise his kids after his wife died.
i totally resonate with this.
when you listen to people's deathbed regrets, they never say ' i regret not working more in the office with a bunch of people who didn't give a shit about me'
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107 sats \ 2 replies \ @satgoob 8 Nov
to add to this, the only real measure of self worth is your sat balance on stacker.news
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sat worth is self worth ;)
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I agree - I just gave you 3 self esteem points on this comment
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Similar to you, I've had to go through a major career setback before I started having a wider vision of what success is.
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yeah, i think it's normal, before a person's faith or assumption is tested by some twist of fate, we go along thinking that there is a linear path. it's a cliche, but sometimes we have to face adversity to shock us into spiritual or psychological development. i think this is why stoisim is so effective , when shit hits, and it always does at some point, mentally we can be ready
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I have almost nothing. And I always have everything I need. Which is way better than having lots of things or "money" stored away. I have ried both ways. In a past life, I had plenty of net worth and no self worth. Plenty of toys but no freedom. There is abundance and scarcity. Real wealth comes from feeling abundant. Scarcity can look a lot of ways. One can have a high net worth and still feel completely scarce, always needing more. Owning less things and holding less baggage, even Bitcoin, in general is freeing. The Bitcoin I mine ends up going out to the community to do more good work. Moving energy is how we grow. I don't hoard much anymore. And I will always have what I need because I know I will. This is abundance. And it brings me a lot of peace. Feeling abundant doesn't mean you are broke either. I see lots of help coming my way in terms of purchasing power. It's just not that time yet. Everything is cycles.
My 2 sats 🤷‍♂️☝️🙏
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it's very freeing when you embrace minimalism because you don't have to worry about some massive, over-leveraged life that you become a slave to
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For sure. I know both sides of that coin. The over-leveraged consumer life is not for me anymore.
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43 sats \ 1 reply \ @BTCLNAT 8 Nov
Excellent reflection. In a world where people keep running on the mouse wheel to reach the unattainable, many times the greatest loss is not the lost investment in a bad business or some material loss, it is the time lost running on that wheel and the time lost with our families. So let's not waste something of such high value as time with our loved ones.
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yeah, when someone puts their whole life in a job, only to be made redundant age 45 and given a casino watch, they face the hard fact that a lot of their life was wasted in vain and their best years given to something that for sure didn't deserve it
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thanks for sharing. I can relate to that.
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It isn't, you're right. This is sort of a level-2 level reflection.
...on level 3, under a functioning, free economy (on a sats standard?!), and considered economically and metaphorically (what is an economy, why do we transact with one another, why do we pay another for their services for us?) it kiiind of is. Your net worth, then, is the sum of your economic provision to others.
But yea, not sure how to compute that vis-a-vis family/faith/health etc.
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in this case yes, earning ability is kind of an abstraction of the value you bring. i think in a complex society it;s harder to gauge as you get like fiat grifters that are sucking on politians' tees making a ton of money by just being sociopaths.
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*psychopaths
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21 sats \ 1 reply \ @xz 9 Nov
I had a friend who once told me his grandmother wouldn't talk to him because he didn't pursue a career in banking. Sometimes, happiness is more important. Wise words.
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sounds like one very toxic grandma lol
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Philippians 4:11-13 English Standard Version 11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
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timeless biblical wisdom
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Yes bro these word is true. But we man spically I can't do that if we don't have plenty of money 💵 than we somewhat feel anxious and kinda upset. All we can do is try let's try again and again
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I've long held the belief that money is not the be-all and end-all. Health and quality time with loved ones are far more important to me.
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21 sats \ 2 replies \ @Fabs 8 Nov
Oh boy, I'm totally with ya!
I still have a hard time understanding why practically everything comes after one's education, work and income; it's lunacy to me.
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it's the conditioning of society i think, kids get bombarded with it from a young age, who are you, who is your dad, what's his job, what car do you have etc. constant search of status, even in island tibes they'll be looking at who has the most shells lol
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11 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs 9 Nov
Oh absolutely!
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Hm... Are you guys who think or used to think like this Americans? I have the feeling that this is somewhat American thinking. I have never felt this. And I don't even have a family.
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No no no no no, I'm not going to sit there and let you bad mouth out lord All time high, we waited a long time for this second coming, let us rejoice lol
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