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21 sats \ 6 replies \ @Shugard OP 23h \ parent \ on: Reasons for low fertility rates and the wokeism cancer alter_native
Very well spoken!
Human freedom is always above everything!
And I would never force anyone to do anything!
But addressing the root problem could bring them back to the idea of having children.
As I saw it in my class. Most of the points you mentioned are comparable to rural Germany. But people forget the long term benefits of having a family and see the short term opportunities. Social media is another driver of this issue.
What are the long-term benefits? Please don't answer me "having someone to take care of you in your old age." I have a daughter and I don't expect or believe that I should be her responsibility in the future. If she wants to support me, it will be her choice, not her obligation. Taking care of my old age is my responsibility from now on, since I am young.
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To name just a few long-term benefits:
- A sense of purpose in life
- Passing on your legacy and values
- Emotional resilience and health
- Learning a new level of empathy
- Greater involvement in your community
- Shared responsibility with your partner that brings you closer together
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I have a kid. I can relate to many of the points you make, as a parent.
Yet, I don't think any of those benefits are unique to parents. Childless people can achieve similar benefits. I've seen it a lot around me. Truly achieved people. Be it through their family, their friends, or even their job.
On the other hand, I see lots of parents who try to compensate for their miserable lives by trying to live through their kid. The kid is a tool to fill a void.
The above opposition I made is on purpose, to make a point. I do believe there are also miserable people without children, as well as truly achieved people who have children. A few friends come to mind.
What I'm trying to say is, that one will get further in understanding childless people by casting away any feeling of judgment. Having/not having a kid does not make one better or worse. Being a great or crappy person makes one better or worse.
Speaking based on my experience in Korea (and to a lesser extent, Europe). I did not live in rural Germany, so I cannot relate to your experience there.
Caveat, I did, at some point, not so long ago, think having children was the way to living a purposeful life. It works for me. Yet, I've talked long enough with people who do not think this way to realize it was short-sighted of me. There are many other ways.
This rant is not aimed at you. I went a bit off-tangent. You seem to be very respectful towards other people. I did not think I'd be writing this much~~
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I just felt like you stole my words. I have exactly the same opinions that you have given. The only thing that I would attribute to being exclusive to parents is the immense love that is born when you have a child, it is an indescribable love that you will never experience if you do not have children. You can love your partner, your parents, your siblings, friends, your pet, but that love will never compare to the one you feel with your children. It hurts to say it but being objective it is only a trap of survival, of biology. Just as sex is delicious, divine and great for trapping living beings and thus procreating and ensuring the survival of the species, the love for children is the same. That desire to leave a legacy is rooted in the same thing.
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I just felt like you stole my words.
I could say the same thing, you also expressed pretty well what I was trying to convey.
I agree with that feeling of immense love towards the kid. It's indeed indescribable.
For the vast majority of parents, it comes naturally. Sadly, I've met a few people for whom this feeling of unconditional love wasn't natural. Luckily, some of them come around and feel that way eventually.
But not all. So, it's good when people know themselves well enough to know that bringing a kid into this world is not something for them—too many mentally damaged people in Korea. Damaged to the point where this strong biological survival feature got suppressed/destroyed due to the environment they grew up in.
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The only thing I know about Korea is what I've seen in documentaries or read, and I've seen a lot about the great mental pressure both in studies and at work, well, you said it yourself, the pressure is so strong that socially it has broken all biological instincts for reproduction. I also know people who said they wanted to have children but in the end they didn't even take care of them; here in Latin America, paternal abandonment is very, very common, sadly.
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