If a third party is required for validation, and this third party is the church or the State, of course the concept of marriage that we know is a total farce and a mega scam. They are clever in this case, they took sentimental, family, religious, and manipulation issues so they can supervise everything. I think that real marriage is simply a mutual commitment between both parties, in a personal, sentimental and real way. Without the need for external validators, simply the trust and unbreakable will of those who really participate is what matters and what gives it shape.