I think about the worst case scenario and if it's survivable, I try to relax.
We have some uncertainty, too. I need to start looking for work, but my industry is all backed up right now and most of the hiring has already happened.
When I would find myself getting stressed over an exam or project at work, I would stop and think "One way or another, you'll still be here afterwards and the consequences will be whatever they will be, but they'll be manageable."
I'm just not looking forward to it at all. I know I'm not going to lose my house or anything, the last time this happened though, I had to put in some extremely long hours to keep our head above the water.
I lose myself in work but that mainly just hides it and it comes out in other ways.
Best thing for me is to just spend a day not thinking too intentionally but also not too distracted by anything particular - walking, exercising, building something repetitive but rewarding, meditating, etc.
I'm stuck in this stupid truck all day, so I try to stay distracted, unfortunately I hit a point where I just can't listen to stuff. It will be on, but I get too stressed to pay attention to whatever is playing.
My wife was let go two years ago, and hasn't been able to find a permanent job since, only three short term contracts. The job market here is brutal, especially in her sector, but also because she was very senior, and the job market is flooded with applicants.
She's now retaining as a career coach but it will take years for her business to reach the same levels of successes.
How to deal with anxiety? I tell her to remember there are things she can control, and things she can't, and how good she is at the things under her control.
Learn other trades invest in yourself takes me back to Earl Nightingales talk about it's better to be a man that knows a little about alot of things then to be a man that knows alot about 1 thing. For example a pilot if they get let go they spent all those years known a plane inside out but when there's no jobs he is helpless. Faith and prayer my man in the good and the bad times
Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
-- Mary Schmich: Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young
Although it's a decently distinctive way to show one's endorsement of my greatness, one also might choose to opt for "Fabitulation" (a bastardization of "capitulation"), showing that one chooses to wholeheartedly surrender himself to my all-encompassing amazing-ness and enlightenment.)
It's tough. I wrestled with this last year when my wife was having some health issues and then had to have a major surgery. It's difficult to get out of your own head sometimes and stop the what ifs from bouncing around your brain. I am a big advocate for having an outlet. Whether that is working out, playing a musical instrument, building things etc that you guide all that energy towards and that can capture your focus.
wake up in time to see the sunrise and start getting thru the written list of basic tasks for the day. anxiety comes and goes, and when it goes away, start training and teaching harder.
Try not to worry about things you can't control and planning/being prepared for the future to the best of your ability without obsessing over it. Trust in God's plan. There's always something God is teaching you.
Like many wise stackers, I go into worst-case planner scenario and dial it right back as far as it will go.
One thing I find helps me, in a work context is being proactive, so I search for more clients, doing more outreach.
Now, usually, not much comes of this, but taking action, I'm at least not sitting around for the ax to fall. I'll look at online courses and learn a new platform or something. I need to feel like I am taking some action.
Another thing that helps is past experience. I mean, I've had it happen where I've lost all my clients and income at once, and it's happened a few times, last Two Christmases in a row, I lost big contracts, actually. Luckily, all the xmas shopping gets done way earlier.
My wife relies on a rental income in freaking rubles and she's had situations where it's either a tenant that walked 3 months in arrears and stole furnatire, or the wild fiat swings of the ruble or some gay law Putin has dreamed up kicking our ass. The abyss is my old friend, I get worried when things go too well for me because I feel like the next ball shot has to be coming lol.
Now in your case, since in this case, it's your wife's job and not something you can control, I would just support her in finding interviews and looking at reskilling, if applicable, and going hard on putting aside more money before the income gets slashed. checking out the temporary unemployment benefit situation.
Then i'd map out a situation based on a long-term job loss and, for example, what happens if she cant work or find a job for like, a year or something crazy, whats the timer until the bank forecloses, could you release equity and live in a van for a year or something and rent the house out?
Luckily, with my wage alone, if I work a lot of overtime (about 55 to 60 hours a week) we can tread water. We can't, save anything though, so any unexpected costs are going to dig into our savings until it's gone.
that's good, at least, you can put a timer on the savings as well, like ok, this will last until x, then you can generate scenarios for those time frames.
The job market is looking rough worldwide unfortunately...
Be strong, and try to find a 2nd source of income (even if it's not a permanent income)...
Hard times are coming I think...
About anxiety...when I feel some similar, I go to a long walk (especially in nature where is quiet, away from the "civilisation")...and try to not think about job market (or whatever cause you anxiety)
Knowing you only have a limited amount of energy. I think in terms of a battery - if you have a lot of energy going out (energy can be in many forms - one being stress/worry) and not much going in, this leads to spiraling, fried nerves, impulsiveness, anger etc.
Fill your cup and really focusing on only what you can control - if it’s out of your hands - let it be.
This is going to seem really weird, but honestly after going carnivore I'm not bothered by useless anxiety anymore. Normal worry and concerns yes, and also trying to avoid and fix problems. But not the stomach clenching anxiety. And my mood was improved just generally.
They call it carnivore calm.
Also in practical terms - I would reduce expenses now, if possible. Look at the biggest items on your expenditures, and see if you can whittle away at them. Having a nest egg can calm anxiety a lot. See if you can pick up some side gigs if possible.
FYI - I just bought 20 pounds of ground beef for $3/lb. There are good prices out there if you research and stock up when you find them.
We go through anxiety oftentimes, but sometimes it's not as intense as experienced previously, and with time to come, we laugh at it. Personally, I take deep breaths, eat chocolate, and try to engage in some other work that could distract my mind. And with all that, I try to think of a solution.
Same here. One of my past colleagues getting told to sell their house for a loss and move to another city (where they will likely be laid off in the next round of cuts). They applied for 3 positions at my fiat job 2 they were qualified for and one they were overqualified for. Put in the time to write a nice cover letter, sent my recommendations to HR only to wait 4 weeks to be told they do not have anything to offer this person with 20 years experience in HW and Software engineering.
Most jobs in the market do not require creativity, or people are not asked to be creative.
Get your creativity going. And try to make money from that creativity. Over time, you will see your stress decrease.
Even if you don't make money, let your creativity run wild. You'll feel relaxed.
But in this case, your anxiety caused by the fear of being fired will always exist as long as you do not take control of your life with respect to work and as long as you do not let go of the dependence on an employer. It is not easy to live without depending on an employer (being your own boss) but with work and focus it is possible in the long term. You just have to find your way.
Theoretical:“Today I escaped anxiety. Or no, I discarded it, because it was within me, in my own perceptions — not outside.”
― Marcus Aurelius
Remember the hard times you've been through in the past. And yet, you're still here, with more experience and wisdom than before. Remember how many great men have suffered, and suffered a lot (think Gandhi, Nietzsche, Dostoevsky, Jesus, Goggins, Frankl, etc.). They carried their burdens to become great - so great that we know of them, sometimes hundreds if not thousands of years later. I wrote a post called "Study the Greats" not too long ago - it may be of help: #872084
Practical:
Meditation/yoga, working out, walking/running in nature, grounding, sunshine, good food, good people, working on something tangible with your hands, journaling.
Perhaps most importantly, practicing gratitude for the things that are good in your life and surroundings.
I have this short to-do list that helps me from time to time again:
Hey, work is just one of the twelve aspects of life. It's important, but you also have relationships, health, family, and more. You can always start over and find new opportunities. And you can also transform the pressure into excitement for challenges. Wishing you confidence and strength!
#Fabbing