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Why did the clown always choose the red balloon? Because they were pop-ular.

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Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was de-Brie everywhere.

Which month do trees dislike? Sep-timber!

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff.

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What do you call birds that stick together? Vel-crows.

What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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How do rabbits travel? By hareplanes.

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When do computers overheat? When they need to vent.

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What are a shark’s two most favorite words? Man overboard!

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@Roll Im Gonna mute you now. My push notifications are on fireee. I'll unmute you after this ends.

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Why did the orange stop? It ran out of juice!

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What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell!

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Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie.

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You know what I saw today? Everything I looked at.

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What do skateboarders do when they’re really talented? They GoPro!

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Why did the alien go to the doctor? He was looking a little green.

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Hmmm dad joke

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What do you call ticks in space? Luna-ticks.

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What do planets sing in a choir? Nep-tunes.

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What did Venus say to Saturn? Give me a ring.

What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.

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What do Martians like to drink? Gravi-TEA.

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What is an astronaut’s favorite meal of the day? Launch.

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What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purrr-ple.

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Why couldn’t the pony sing? Because she was a little hoarse.

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Where do cows go for entertainment? The mooooo-vies!

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Why did the tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal.

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If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toes.

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Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

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What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account? Prime mates.

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Why are teddy bears never hungry? Because they’re always stuffed!

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Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

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bride

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What do you call a dinosaur that asks a lot of deep questions? A philosiraptor.

How did the dinosaur build her house? With a dino-saw.

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What’s an avocado’s favorite kind of music? Guac and roll!

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youhouu

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Why did the dinosaur go to the doctor? He had an eye-saur.

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What does a ghost wear to splash in puddles? BOOOOOOOts.

No youghoo

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Where do happy lightning bolts live? Cloud nine.

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youhouu

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What is a gust of wind’s favorite color? Blew.

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No way

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it s on the right

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What doesn’t get any wetter no matter how much it rains? The ocean.

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youhouu

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear…

youhouu

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youhouu
Why are pediatricians always so grumpy? They have little patients.

What musical instrument do you find in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste!

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What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

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What does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.

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What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!

People are always worried about their cell phones or microwaves spying on them. Truth is, those are not the appliances you need to be concerned about. It’s your Vacuum Cleaner that you need to be worried about – it’s been collecting dirt on you for years.

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youhouu

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What did the traffic light say to the traffic light? Don’t look, I’m changing.

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What does a baby computer call its father? Data!

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Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party? Because it’s so cool.

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What did the grape say to the silly peanut butter? You’re nuts!

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When do you need to climb the ladder? To get to High School.

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Why was the cell phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts.

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What did the right eye say to the left eye? Between you and me, something smells!

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not yet

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already

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Flower

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borderline

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