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0 sats \ 142 replies \ @NovaRift 26 Apr \ parent \ on: Most comments wins 👀 meta

youhouu

At any point in time, 0.7% of the world’s population is drunk. As you are reading this, 50 million people are drunk! Check out other fun facts about alcohol!

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youhouu

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Sonic the Hedgehog isn’t his full name. In fact, Sega’s posterboy is actually named Ogilvie Maurice Hedgehog.

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youhouu

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A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out. Because of a membrane that holds its tongue to the roof of its mouth, a crocodile can’t stick its tongue out of its elongated snout. However, alligators can.

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he likes hot dog ?

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youhouu

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Why did the birthday boy wrap himself in paper? He wanted to live in the present.

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youhouu

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What’s a potato’s favorite form of transportation? The gravy train

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youhouu

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Did you hear the one about the roof? Never mind, it’s over your head.

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youhouu

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What’s the best smelling insect? A deodor-ant.

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youhouu

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Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.

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youhouu

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What do you call someone who doesn’t like carbs? Lack-Toast Intolerant.

0 sats \ 122 replies \ @denlillaapan 26 Apr

fantastic

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youhouu

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What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi.

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youhouu

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How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree? By the bark.

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youhouu

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What’s the stinkiest planet? Poopiter.

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youhouu

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What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.

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well

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What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!

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youhouu

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How did the pig get to the hogspital? In a hambulance.

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youhouu

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Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he had a great fall.

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youhouu

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What do you call a pudgy psychic? A four-chin teller.

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youhouu

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What do you get when you mix a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost? A cocker-poodle boo.

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youhouu

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How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.

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youhouu

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How much money does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.

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youhouu

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Where do young trees go to learn? Elementree school.

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0 sats \ 97 replies \ @NovaRift 26 Apr

It says: It looks like there aren't many great matches for your search

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What is the difference between a teacher and a train? One says, “Spit out your gum,” and the other says, “Choo choo choo!”

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youhouu

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Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

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youhouu

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How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.

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youhouu

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What is the tallest building in the entire world? The library, because it has so many stories.

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youhouu

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How do trees access the internet? They log in.

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youhouu

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What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? Swimming trunks.

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youhouu

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Why did the painting go to jail? It was framed.

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0 sats \ 43 replies \ @denlillaapan 26 Apr

Believable

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Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @denlillaapan 27 Apr

Because he ran away?!

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youhouu

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Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.

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youhouu

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Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your type.”

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youhouu

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Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish.

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youhouu

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0 sats \ 32 replies \ @NovaRift 26 Apr

Cornhub

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar

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youhouu

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam.

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youhouu

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youhouu

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? 10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started it.

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youhouu

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youhouu

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0 sats \ 7 replies \ @NovaRift 26 Apr

Lol

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not sur

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Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.

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youhouu

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Where should you go in the room if you’re feeling cold? The corner—they’re usually 90 degrees.

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youhouu

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What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? “Make me one with everything.”

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youhouu

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Why don’t blind people skydive? Because it scares their dogs.

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youhouu

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What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste, mostly.

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youhouu

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0 sats \ 27 replies \ @denlillaapan 26 Apr

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How much space will be freed in the EU after Brexit? Approximately 1 GB.

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @denlillaapan 27 Apr

Aaaah, that's fun

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youhouu

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What do you call malware on a Kindle? A bookworm.

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youhouu

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youhouu

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