Periodically I post some chess updates here... (#935981) mostly for fun and bragging rights, but also for emotional release.
I don't know what it is about this godforsaken, fantastic, stunning game that produces this in my life. Rollercoasters, anger, obsession. But alas here we are.
All-time high, bitches!!
Yeah, I know... it looks like a BTC/USD chart. At some level, I'm starting to suspect that they are somehow connected...
And like always, the margins are UNFATHOMABLY small (#853488), the proportion of wins over losses microscopic.
Sixhundred games comes down to fifteen games going my way. If you flip a coin a number of times, you'd get streaks of good and bad that defies logic. I know I am better than this, but alas sometimes I crash down to ~1200s. (The hatred I feel for myself in those moments is out of this world.)
Bad news: After having polished my all-time high somewhat (with a hung piece, BORING; not how I wanted to win...) I played a few more games... only to have hubris punish me (#967744) and shove me down to 1450. UNBELIEVABLE.
Thus, I'm just as mad here as I was at every one of those troughs you spot in the graph. Fuck.
What's worse, then, is that I -- like ek -- throw good time after bad... by plunging the entire evening into playing chess. Food? No. Movie? No. Go for a walk in the sunset? No. Call my fam? No. Fuck. (redeeming feature: I clawed some back, so I'm at 1509.)
Well well, at least I can go to bed not be ashamed of my own stupid chess rating.