If you don't want to make it a second job, then self custodial lightning is far too complicated.

I tried for a while, it's constant hassle and problems. Nothing is easy. Help is almost non-existent. Always having to dig through specialized forums in order to figure things out. Always having to contact support for help.

It's a point of pride for many folks here that they run their own node. And that's great, helps the ecosystem and all that.

But I think in the process of working their second job (managing a node) people may have deluded themselves that it's easy enough for people who just want to dabble.

It is absolutely NOT.