There is a manipulation tactic rarely named but widely used in families, institutions, and spiritual communities. I call it Concern Trolling.
It sounds like care:
“I’m just worried about you.”
“I’ve been praying about your rebellion.”
But the function is not care.
The function is intelligence gathering — extracting plans, vulnerabilities, and emotional states in order to influence or control outcomes later. It is covert reconnaissance disguised as compassion.
Real concern respects autonomy.
Real concern does not require disclosure.
Real concern does not treat your inner life as public property.
A simple boundary closes the operation:
“Thank you for your concern. My spiritual and emotional health is between me and God. I’ll reach out if I need counsel from trusted sources.”
Naming a tactic removes its power.
Once you see it, you cannot unsee it.