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you dont want lightning channels with miners

Why not? I want Lightning for everything.

I understand it adds extra complexity on their end. They would save money on the on-chain fees, but they would pay just as much to get that outbound liquidity. I could see them opening an extremely large channel to a hub like OpenNode, and use that one channel to pay out lots of people. And then close & reopen the channel after the outbound liquidity dries up. This strategy probably would cut down a lot of the fees.

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all the security assumptions of lightning break down if your counterparty is a miner

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wait, what?

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the assumption is that you can get the latest state tx into the blockchain before your counterparty and miners will do that because they want fees today. However a miner with a channel will exclude your transaction because they can get the lightning channel balance instead.

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One miner will exclude my transaction, the next miner will include it. I got a whole week to slash the attacker.

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if the miner has enough hash rate and liquidity on lightning it could make sense to attempt to reorg

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I did not see anything remotely resembling "all the security assumptions of lightning break down".

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is valuable only insofar as you’re able to delay or block your peer from issuing a “correcting” transaction

But nobody is able to delay or block people from posting transactions. Otherwise LN is indeed in trouble, and not only LN. Overall this doesn't look like something to worry about.

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