Chasing goals thinking they'll make us forever happy? Beware of the 'arrival fallacy'! True joy isn't just in reaching goals, but in the journey, growth, and impact. Ask yourself: Would I still pursue this goal even if it doesn't promise lasting happiness?
“This will make me happy,” you say to yourself, as you set your sights on an external goal.
“It isn’t supposed to be fun,” you say to yourself, as you notice that you’re feeling more stressed than excited.
“This is only temporary,” you say to yourself, as you miserably work towards it.
“I’m almost there, and then everything will be okay,” you say to yourself, as you approach the goal.
“Why don’t I feel happier?” you say to yourself after you have achieved it.
“I must have chosen the wrong goal,” you say to yourself, as you set your sights on a new external goal — and kick off the whole cycle again.
One of Old Happy’s greatest myths is that external achievements will make you lastingly happy. This is called ‘the arrival fallacy,’ a term coined by Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar. Achieving your goals can bring you short-term happiness, but it will always fade away.
That doesn't mean that goals are bad; we just want to be wary of the wrong goals (those that don't promote well-being) and proactively seek out the right ones (those that do help promote well-being.)
How do you distinguish between them? Here's my favorite trick: when you're setting a goal, ask yourself if you'd still pursue it if you knew that it wouldn't make you lastingly happy. Would you still do it for the joy, for the growth, for the impact, for the journey? That's what will help you identify goals that bring you joy along the way — the goals that bring you lasting happiness.