It was the fall of 2020. A few months earlier, I had started The New Happy's Instagram page. One day, I made a post talking about how to cope with your negative emotions. And on it, a lovely member of our community left a comment that I will never forget. They said, "No emotions are negative!"
When I was in grad school, I had been taught to distinguish between positive and negative emotions — researchers differentiate them based on what's known as their 'valence.' While that is useful in the scientific literature, that community member taught me that it's not so useful when we talk about emotions in real life.
Because they were right: there are no 'positive' and 'negative' emotions, in the way that we typically use these words. All emotions have a purpose. You wouldn't be able to survive and live a good life without every single one of them. Your fear keeps you safe; your loneliness encourages you to reconnect with others; your sadness helps you to process your difficult experiences.
The next time you feel the urge to label an emotion in this binary way (like positive/negative or good/bad), remind yourself: every one of your emotions matter.
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