So I’m married to a Japanese lady. I believe that this gives me good authority to comment on general behavioural traits of Japanese ladies. As the saying “happy wife, happy wife goes”, these are things I avoid to preserve harmony with my other half.
- Don’t invite friends home without her permission
I may be the head of the household but she is the chief of my home. A typical Japanese woman sees it as her duty to keep the house spick and span, especially so if she is a full-time homemaker. So if I invite friends home spontaneously, she would be embarrassed to reveal her home in a less than pristine state and even fear that your friends may judge her for not upkeeping her house well.
- Don’t let your friends eat from your rice bowls
Rice is indispensable to the diet of the Japanese, so my Japanese wife regards the rice bowls used by us as sacred and precious. Some women may even liken this act to letting people wear their undergarments, so I do myself a flavour and serve my guests other bowls.
- Don’t leave the washroom wet
Japanese people are a stickler for cleanliness, and it makes them rather uncomfortable if you use the washroom and leave the floor/basin/toilet seat bicho bicho (“soaking wet” in Japanese). So I take extreme care not to spill water all over the place.
- Don’t mess around with her kitchen
There is a phrase that refers the kitchen as an “onna no shiro” (woman’s castle). My wife painstakingly arranges all the cooking tools in designated places to facilitate her movements when she is cooking. I don’t make the mistake of using the kitchen and then putting back things in their “wrong” places!
1 I think would go for any culture 2 I have never heard of and may be particular to your wife 3 again seems universal and 4 again fairly universal especially if one's wife is particular about things. (I'm not sure it's about "facilitating her movements" as much as just getting p****d off that something you need is not where you expect it when it's needed). I don't think this is a list that can be used to stereotype only Japanese women or even women in general as many men I expect would also be unhappy with 1 and 4.
I was going to say much the same thing.
3 is unfortunately not universal for Vietnamese people... I wish one day it will be.
Thanks for the detailed feedback. Guess this is not one of my most thoughtful pieces. Back to the drawing board.
Can you tell her to relax for a few minutes?
I just tell myself that “the storm will pass”. Haha
https://m.stacker.news/10370
😂
This quote made me smile. Thanks mate
Hi @cryotosensei
Regarding 1: That seems a bit strong. I think "Don’t invite friends home without informing her" would be better than having to ask for permission. The home belongs to both of you. It is important to maintain friendships as much as possible in a relationship. And you certainly do not need her permission for that. And inviting friends over should be a natural thing. It might help to give an advanced warning so she can plan accordingly if need be, something like "I'd like to have my friend XYZ come over Thursday evening."
Regarding 2: I think it is also important to share. To share especially with your kids. You are sharing the food, why not also share occasionally the rice bowl? It might be seen as forming a tie, if both parent and kids like to do that. I see little harm if it is voluntary on both parts. Each one has his "holy" item. To some it is his/her car, that nobody is allowed to touch, etc. I believe the more we can share in the family and friend circle the better. The smaller the circle the more we should share. In the circle of 2, you and your partner, you should share a vast amount of things. In the circle of 4, you, your partner and your 2 kids, you should share many things. The bigger the circle the less we share usually.
Regarding 3 and 4: seems reasonable to me.
All of that just my humble opinion, nothing more.
Thanks for your candid and well-elaborated thoughts on marriage and parenting life. Next time, I will be more assertive with my wife! Haha
Happy new year
I don't think 1 is correct for all, as I never asked for permission. However I say prior to invite someone that a friend will come (which is I think common politeness). For 2 I think she is picky and not representative of everyone. For 3, I have to say that I hate having the washroom wet when I go to the public toilet, but is it only me who like clean toilets? For 4 I think we all have the same problem when we have a particular place for a tool.
I think something is however important with Japanese people we don't have in the West, it is to planify well everything 1 month before.
I think I come from Asia where it’s common to buy groceries at the wet market. So a little bit of water never bothers me. Haha
Thanks for the detailed criticism. Appreciate your time
I was thinking it was going to be ...
Why are you talking about Satoshi again? No! We will not rename the cat Satoshi .. How many times I need to say, stop looking at mempool dot space?
She actually doesn’t know that I invest in Bitcoin haha
ah! better opsec that way.
Yes, what she doesn’t know can’t hurt her haha
I'd love to try a Japanese lady,i think that's what I need for a wife. She'd be perfect for me
Ngl, my wife manages the household so well. I don’t know what I will do without her
Im Japanese so have a Japanese mom, naturally, and well yes these statements are all true 😅🤣