The word measure comes from the 14th century word mesuren: to deal out, to divide up.

It makes me think of a shared dish of food being ladled out into separate bowls. When you’re measuring, you’re taking something whole and splitting it apart.

In measuring yourself, you’re doing the same thing: you’re dividing yourself into pieces, separating your person from your results. Yes, this can be a useful strategy when peak performance is your most cherished goal. But if you're looking for happiness, I'd advise against it.

Because when you do this, it's all too easy to choose a result (daily habits, social media followers, bank account balance, resume, compliments from others) and then turn it into your identity. For when we divide ourselves in this way, there’s an inevitable consequence: what you are measuring now must be maximized.

Just like when we were kids, our inclination is to look around at how much food our dining companions got in their bowls. Am I doing enough? How can I get some more? Life has turned, without knowing it, into a competition.

The truth (which we all know!) is that everything that matters most cannot be divided up into pieces.

These things that matter — your authentic self, love, friendship, creativity, generosity, purpose — are always whole. They can’t be divided, so they can’t be measured. And because they can’t be measured, they can’t be competed for. And because they can’t be competed for, they connect us to one another. And because they connect us to one another, they make us happy.