Old Happy: "There's no hope for the future because of the past." New Happy: “I can honor the pain of the past and feel hope for the future—at the same time."

We all have dreams for our lives. And life has a way of foiling those.

Losing your job. Going through a heartbreak. Navigating an illness. Getting what you want and realizing it's not what you want. Experiencing the death of a loved one. Hearing difficult news.

In these moments, where life disrupts life, we have to hold on to two truths at the same time.

We can grieve what we hoped for. We can allow ourselves to feel our sorrow, anger, fear, envy, and frustration. We can process those emotions through talking, writing, creating, movement, and other forms of expression. We can connect with others who know what it feels like or those who can hold our hands as we walk this road.

And at the same time, we can make the life we have a beautiful one. We can wake up and choose one different action. We can celebrate the moments of good we have, no matter how small they are. We can make something meaningful out of what we do have, one day at a time.

For all of those who are staring down a life that looks very different than what you had hoped, please remember this: you don't have to choose either/or. You can do both.