Is it good? \ stacker news ~alter

https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6047db270c9e837bb47bbb37/94bcf32d-70f8-4b67-906b-6635063a0948/a+good+relationship+remake-no+stroke.png?format=1000w

Old Happy: "I should do what others think is good." New Happy: “I can choose what is good for me."

Our society defines a 'good' relationship as the relationship that lasts the longest, even if both parties are unhappy and unfulfilled in it. With a bit of distance from our conditioning, we can see that this is both illogical and harmful. First of all, there's no law that says a 'good' relationship has to last forever. Second, how can anything be good when it's creating pain for everyone involved?

Here's my definition, based upon the science of happy relationships: A good relationship is, at its core, something that helps those involved to grow, find joy, and become better people.

Sometimes, these relationships last for a long time. Sometimes, these relationships are briefer. Either way, they're good ones. We don't have to judge the duration of a relationship; we can celebrate each one for their uniqueness.

Does this resonate with you? If not, how would you define a good relationship for yourself? Finally, what can you learn from using that lens to look at the relationships in your life?

11 sats \ 0 replies \ @itermathi 19 Apr

A good relationship is reciprocal, seeking the best for another person, supporting them in necessary moments and bringing their qualities to light.

One time, me and a friend were drinking beer at the port, I was smoking and my friend asked me for a cigarette to which I responded: "but you don't smoke" but he insisted that he wasn't going to get hooked. I told him that i was not going to be guilty of an addiction, that he should ask anyone else but not me. He was surprised and told me that he was glad of my good intentions.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @DesertDave 20 Apr

I completely agree. We tend to get too attached to relationships and what they "should" look like. I can look back and see where I was growing with people and then we stopped growing so it ended. It's perfect. We all evolve and what is "good" is never the same. I personally always choose growth and expansion in a relationship over comfort.