It's interesting. In some ways I have added so many more boundaries the more I have healed. Also, I have learned to open up so much more for people that I feel deserve to share my energy. 

DesertDave

It is a tough balance and I've had to adjust during different periods of my life. It wasn't really consistent with age, but circumstances.

alter_native

![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6047db270c9e837bb47bbb37/bf0c68ae-d0ac-403b-8a1a-00b9d9673446/protecting+yourself-no+stroke.png?format=1000w)

The coping mechanisms that you developed to help you survive might now be keeping you from thriving.

If you were hurt in the past, you might have learned that you have to isolate yourself from others in order to protect yourself. Yet doing so makes it so much harder to establish the loving, secure, and mutual relationships that will help you to be happier.

Today, look back on your past and ask yourself these three questions:

- How did I learn to protect myself from pain?

- Are those protective measures still serving me?

- If not, what would it look like to lower my guard, just a little bit?