Old Happy: I am not strong enough to face my fear.
New Happy: I've faced my fear many times before; I can do it again.
Avoiding it is easier in the short-term, but creates pain in the long-term. Facing it is harder in the short-term, but creates ease in the long-term.
We all would prefer to avoid the upsetting or painful things in life. But in trying to protect ourselves through avoidance, we often end up paradoxically increasing our suffering.
The next time this you're avoiding something that needs to be faced, try this: think about how facing it will help you to be the person you aspire to be.
For example:
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If you're avoiding setting a boundary, tell yourself: “I’m a person with self-respect, and this is a moment to demonstrate that.”
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If you're avoiding a difficult conversation with a loved one, tell yourself: “I’m a person who shows up to work on my relationships, even when it’s hard.”
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If you’re avoiding a chore or responsibility, tell yourself: “I’m a person who follows through on my commitments.”
This shift in focus — from the present pain to the future gain — can help you tap into your deep well of courage. Even when it seems scary, please remember: you can face this thing.