You need more.
This message runs through Old Happy culture, affecting us from a very early age. We’re told that more is the secret to happiness.
Research shows, however, that the pursuit of more stuff doesn’t actually make us happy.
First of all, we adapt very quickly to good things in our lives. This is called hedonic adaptation. No matter what you get, you tend to get used to it.
Other studies have found that people who are more materialistic —which means they value stuff and money more highly — are more likely to be lonely, struggle with their relationships, and rate themselves as less satisfied with life.
Notice what this desire for more feels like inside of you. Maybe it’s a sort of clenching in your stomach. It could be a racing heart that signifies your fear. It could be a sense of urgency that leaves no space to pause and ask if something more is actually necessary.
When you feel that feeling, ask yourself, “What need am I trying to fill here?"
With that need in mind, you can look around to figure out how you can fulfill it.
Many of our needs can be fulfilled by simply pausing to notice, appreciate, and enjoy the good that is already present in our lives. You have people to love you, things that nourish you, community to support you, agency to make different choices, and interests to inspire you. These things can fulfill you in a way that more and more cannot.
I think the problem is that materialism and consumerism has been turned into a virtue, rather than a vice.
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