life is a rollercoaster, and lately, i have felt like it has been a very bumpy ride. the context i can put it in is 1 being smooth like driving a car on a flat road, and 10 being so bumpy that my mind is rattling non-stop with fear and doubt.
right now as i type this, i feel at about a 6.
the rambling thoughts are there, but there aren't strong enough to the point of sitting in bed the whole day feeling utterly hopeless about everything that is currently happening in my life.
my mind, body, and soul feel this thread of hope to keeping going today. so, this current feeling is almost as wavy as you would see a consistent UV ray on an electromagnetic spectrum.
it's been a little over two months since japan, and along with these waves of feelings that come and go, living back at home ironically feels stagnant.
i feel like i don't connect with my family and friends as well anymore.
finding a part time job feels impossible some days.
it's hard to talk to people when their bubble of comfort has never been popped.
and this feeling sameness is becoming more uncomortable by the day.
although, i feel my goals of finishing my book and going abroad again are where i'm headed, because this is where i find to be most free, and inspired.
every day, i fill my days as best as i can with gratitude, positivity, and trusting that the universe is leading me exactly where i need. i remind myself constantly it is one day at a time, and that there is only today that we can use to work on the things that mean the most to us.
with all these ups and downs i have been experiencing, or whatever sort of things you might be going through yourself, just know that these are just the testaments of living.
me still being here is proof of that.