I don't know if this is the right territory to post this, but liked the last discussion about loneliness and I thought this could be the right place for a couple of other questions.
When I was younger, I had a pretty long period of my life in which I lived as I were a commedian, an actor in a Goldoni's drama where the meaningfulness of characters is trapped in their mask, not in physical bodies. During that period I lived a lot, I fell in love and quickly forgot about it, I had a lot parties and generally met a ton of people.
And every time I got to know someone new, my mind immediately asked the questions what's this guy's persecution? What's this girl's persecution? What keeps him/her up at night? Clearly, these questions never landed on actual conversations, but this still makes me wander about the possible answers.
I often think about if I’m doing enough for my kids or that I’m not doing enough for them
How do you overcome that, if I may ask? Is this question then follpwed by some specific action or is this a general worry?
It’s a constant worry. Which I find must be helping me be more engaged with them. Striving to be better especially when I have three soon to be four and work etc trying to be there for all of them when they need me
What worries me or keeps me awake is always not fulfilling what I promise. My grandfather told me: "never promise what you cannot fulfill." So when I promise something until I fulfill it I do not stop, but I recognize that until that happens, I feel as if I am being crushed.
That has led me to learn to say NO. For me it is very difficult because I like to help. But I learned that when you try to help in something for which you are not prepared or do not have the means or resources, it is like trying to save someone who is drowning, and I jump into the water and realize that I do not know how to swim either, it would have been better to throw a life preserver or a rope to get him out of the water.
The art of saying NO is definitely an attitude to master in life. We tend to think we can do a lot of stuff, fogetting that we can do anything, but not everything. Thanks
I'd recommend ~Alter_Native for this sort of discussion.
Technically, ~meta is supposed to be for posts about Stacker News.
Thanks, I'll remember that
I only have two things that keep me up at night
Good luck for your adventure man
Fear of rejection, its probably why I embrace solitude.
I guess you already took a look at the loneliness discussion we had a couple of days ago, it's linked in the post.
I struggled, I'm struggling - and I probably will in the future - with this same issue. I'm generally risk adverse, I tend to be conservative, but the bitterness that solitude and regret trigger creates much more pain than the pain of rejection. I try to think about the matter in this terms.
You have to keep moving forward and forging your own path.
Not making good on my promises to myself, failing on my mission for myself, not being my ideal me.
My persecution is not being as good as I thought I would be, to not reach goals. To leave earth dead but without leaving behind happiness. This keeps me moving forward.
Although many times we set temporary goals, I understand there are few that keep us from sleeping, you can say I have to do it for her because she is the one I like, because once he did it for me, or I simply have to fulfill it because I said I was going to do it, but there is only one that makes you miss all the others, in particular mine is my family, at the time they knew how to give me everything that was in their hands and what they didn't, I can't say that they didn't. They tried so that because of them I break any word I can fall as low as possible that for that reason I wouldn't care
You are certainly not the first to have asked yourself that question. We all sometimes ask ourselves that question about someone or about ourselves. I have sometimes asked myself what I want or what I need or what attracts me to that person. Being able to know yourself and really get to know a person is a very complex job.