Bitcoinadventures

bitcoin

“Stack hard. Zap harder.”

⸻

Planet Nevarro, 2089.

The galaxy was overrun with Imperial Fiat Credits, constantly devalued by the Central Bank of Coruscant. Merchants groaned. Droid miners were banned. And the Empire’s new CBDC tracked every transaction across the stars.

But one bounty hunter walked a different path.

“I don’t trust credits,” he growled.
“I want sats.”

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⚡ Chapter 1: The Ledger Lives

Mando landed his Razor Crest outside a dusty cantina. Inside, a grizzled Twi’lek whispered:

“They say there’s a protocol… decentralized, unstoppable.
Forged by Satoshi. Protected by proof-of-work.”

Mando nodded. “This is the way.”

He downloaded Phoenix Wallet, generated a Lightning invoice, and accepted payment for a bounty in 42,069 sats — no KYC, no questions, no intermediaries.

Just freedom.
Just code.

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🧠 Chapter 2: Grogu Learns Self-Custody

“Do not trust custodial wallets, Grogu. Not your keys, not your coins.”

The child blinked and levitated a Coldcard wallet.

“Smart kid,” Mando muttered.

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💡 Mandalorian Maxims for Bitcoiners
	•	This is the Way → HODL sats.
	•	Never remove your helmet → Never give up your seed phrase.
	•	Speak only when necessary → Run your own node.
	•	Weapons are part of my religion → So is self-custody.

“You either die a Fiat simp or live long enough to become a node runner.”

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⚔️ Final Scene: Facing the Empire

The Empire offered Mando a choice:

“Switch to the Galactic Credit Chain — or be outlawed.”

He answered with a zap.
And walked away with his sats untouched.

⸻

This is the way.

Zap to support the resistance.
Comment for Chapter 3: Grogu’s Lightning Wallet Hack.