SignalWraith

gaming

Don't let this happen to the Krogans, again.

HAIL, TRAVELER.

All the sats. All the orange pills. All the decentralized knowledge in existence. Not one suggestion. Excellent work, everyone.

Salutations, my fellow gaming gamers.
I come before the council seeking knowledge.
Of a game that pays actual sats and is also, somehow, fun.

Not another “crypto miner” where I tap a glowing asteroid, watch ads until my soul achieves escape velocity, upgrade my imaginary ASIC, and receive 3 sats sometime before the heat death of the universe.

I’m thinking more along the lines of CryptoColony.net. Actual game-ish mechanics. Progression. Numbers doing things for reasons. It’s decent, just a little slow and about as exciting as killing 65,340,285 low-level boars in the forest to reach level 60 in WoW.

I still need to investigate Lightning Miner and Lightning Quest, although I suspect they may simply be Crypto Colony wearing different hats.

I’d also be very interested in poker for sats, if such a glorious thing exists and is accessible from South Africa.

I await your wisdom, recommendations, forbidden knowledge, questionable apps, and possibly cursed referral links with great anticipation.

**GG WP GL HF BRB AFK SMH my head o7**

@SignalWraith's bio

I don’t have a proper portfolio. Most of the paid work I did was fairly straightforward social media ads for small local businesses, so nothing as interesting as inventing the barrel crow’s nest.

I actually got into design through attempting print-on-demand stuff, though, and that’s probably the most artistic work I have to show: https://www.instagram.com/perpetuallyperplexed.tees

bitcoin_beginners

Learnt about sats and Lightning a couple of weeks ago, then dove head-first down the rabbit hole trying to stack some sats.
Here’s the graveyard, plus the few survivors:
- Bitcoin Miner (Serenity) - Works, but painfully slow; 20-sat withdrawal.
- Slice - Works, but made 69 Slices in 3 months; Didn't even know they were sats when I got it. Each sat has to sit for 14 days before it moves to the withdrawable pool and there's a 300sat minimum on payouts.
- sMiles - Geo-blocked on South African Google Play.
- ZBD Wallet - Geo-blocked on South African Google Play.
- Viker Games - Freezes because required ZBD infrastructure is inaccessible.
- THNDR Games - ZBD dependency blocked; current model also changed.
- Bitcoin Miner Idle Tycoon (Fumb) - ZBD-only payout makes cashout inaccessible.
- Bitcoin Screw Puzzle - ZBD-only payout.
- Bits N Cash - ZBD-only payout.
- Bitcoin Match - ZBD-only payout.
- Bitcoin Plinko - ZBD-only payout.
- Royal Bitcoin Solitaire - ZBD-only payout.
- Money Sort Bitcoin Collector - ZBD-only payout.
- Bitcoin Collector - ZBD-only payout.
- Bitcoin Spin - Cash App/ZBD only; neither useful in South Africa.
- Score Masters - ZBD-only payout.
- SatsEarn - 25,000-sat withdrawal minimum is ridiculous.
- Lightning Faucet - Requires deposit and wagering before normal withdrawals.
- BTC Gacha - Immediately redirects to ads; unusable experience.
- Bereka - Account creation fails with “Failed to fetch.”
- Cointiply - 30,000-coin withdrawal threshold; too grindy.
- FaucetPay - Huge library of options, but withdrawal unlock requires deposit.
- BTCScrapper - FaucetPay-focused, not direct Lightning to Speed.
- FireFaucet - Mostly FaucetPay; not ideal for Speed Wallet.
- FaucetCrypto - FaucetPay-focused; poor fit for direct Lightning.
- EarnFreeCoin - Low threshold, but requires FaucetPay.
- TapNoon - Low threshold, but not direct Lightning.
- EarnBitMoon - FaucetPay-based rather than Lightning-to-Speed.
- Labora - Suspicious early-access app with serious malware red flags.
- BTC Bit By Bit - Predatory subscription wall and fake account lock.
- Bitcoin 2100 - Domain expired; service permanently offline.
- Lightning Joker - Website vanished completely.
- lnbits.com - Broken site with expired security certificates.
- LootUp - BitPay payout unsupported in South Africa.
- CryptoTab - Withdrawal ecosystem looked unreliable and NC Wallet-dependent.
- Salad - Hardware/storage unsuitable; returns unlikely worth electricity.
- KuCoin Cloud Mining Trial - Worked; earned sats, but one-off promotional trial.
- KuCoin Margin Trial - Promotional trading credit, not withdrawable free income.
- BTSE Cash vouchers - Fee rebates only; not withdrawable cash.
A few survivors:
- Microlancer - Promising; sats microjobs, not properly tested yet.
- Blocks of Bitcoin - Works; currently my best active sats earner.
- Bitcoin Mine: Gold Diggers - Works, but earnings accumulate extremely slowly.
And then, of course…
- Stacker News - Promising; earn sats through useful community participation.
Results so far: technically non-zero.

30+ Ways How Not to Earn Sats for Free.

Designer. Writer. Poker player. Out-of-work Freelancer.
Trying every zero-cost earning method I can find online.
This inevitably led to sats and, by default, Stacker News.
Highly experienced survey disqualification specialist.
I have an unreasonable willingness to test questionable apps that promise real Bitcoin.

Currently conducting an unnecessarily thorough investigation into whether the internet can produce money without first requiring money.
**Results so far:** *technically non-zero.*

bitcoin

Frequently Asked Questions

k00b

I now have a horse! Thank you kindly. *tips stetson*

Hi everyone, first day. I'm trying to link my speed wallet. I use speed in browser since the app is not available on playstore in my country. But the receive test defaults the address to @tryspeed.com and mine is @speed.app. So consequently, it fails. Google AI has had me running in circle for about 15min now. The extreme confidence AI can have while being completely wrong never ceases to amaze me.