This is apparently a quote from Aristotle "To be a friend to someone you must eat a sack of salt together" (though doing some research, it's not necessarily actually from Aristotle).
Back then, salt would be purchased/stored in bags. It would take a LONG TIME to go through a bag. Thus, you need to spend a lot of time with someone (in other words, go through the whole bag of salt) in order to make friends.
This definitely has the ring of truth for me. But how do you do this, when you're not in school, not working in person, and moved to a new place?
Thoughts?
It's hard. My wife and I talk about this often. Having kids can help because you kinda end up spending time with the other kids' parents. But I have to admit that this actually hasn't worked too well for us: haven't made any friends this way.
It's doubly complicated because life is so mediated through the internet now. Most of the new relationships I've formed in the last few years have started online -- due to bitcoin mostly.
Most practical advice I have? Go to meetups about topics you're interested in. Feels awkward at first, but it's a great way to get to know people.
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view on youtu.beLet's do another one!
Dude, I have no idea how to make friends anymore. I'm in my 40's, no children, and I got nothing. I'm actually trying to make new friends, so if you come up with something, let me know.
Go to dance classes
Or join a sports club
I've met more than a thousand people in dance.
ok, that's nice but are they friends friends -- as in, do those friendships in any way rival what you have with e.g., uni/high school friends?
100%
Because dance and many physical activities are so (duh) physical, the process of making friends is accelerated tenfold. I'm in a country where I don't speak the language well but I'm making friends in a couple months that feel like it's been 6 or 8 months.
In the case of female friends, dance helps a lot. Maybe 80% friends are female. In the case of men, sports. In that case 80% men.
I like to have both types of friends. My wife agrees it's very healthy for my life.
Thanks for the honesty! One thing I do know is that LOTS AND LOTS of people have the exact same issue.
Especially older people. I shudder over some of the isolated older people I know, that are really lonely.
Hobby or activity group can help. Chess, book club, Warhammer, or hiking etc.
It can work if it's a regular thing, but imo to truly make friends if it clicks with some people, you want to make friends outside the context of the hobby too. Like grab a drink or catch a show instead of just playing chess every Thursday.
This I find. It's just time spent, really.
Wise words
Yeah, that saying really resonated with me. The whole "bag of salt" thing.
Probably because I had actually bought a bag of salt a few years ago, as a general "prepper" type purchase.
I'm about...maybe 1/3 through it... When I saw this quote, I really thought to myself...wow...really spending time together is the thing.
hard thing to do, especially the older and more established we get; life and obligations getting in the way
That is a good question. I just posted that on Nostr today: «I might start a local bitcoin meetup.» I feel a bit isolated at the moment and I think starting a meetup would be a good idea to meet like minded people. Before I would start one, maybe look if there is already something like that near you.
link?
thanks!
Bitcoin meetups
It gets more difficult as you age but if you can find people with a common interest that is a good starting place.